The internet brought the world a list of “interesting facts about ghosts” – A round-up on the properties of ghosts, if you will. And we, the world of science, decided to take a look. Won’t you join us?

1. Ghosts are more active at night.

Apparently reduced electric disturbances make them and their ghostness more powerful. Or maybe they’re also really super-late risers like yours truly.

2. Kids and animals are more likely to sense ’em.

Of course, the only ones who can sense ghosts are those that speak little and barely make sense or those that don’t speak at all. ‘Cause presumably, the first rule of Ghost Club is that you don’t talk about Ghost Club.

3. Ghosts perpetually stay in a state of dilemma.

Most ghosts don’t know they’re dead and are always confused and stressed, as if stuck in a nightmare. Wait. By that logic, everyone in my office, myself included, is a frikkin’ ghost!

4. Ghosts never sleep.

Neither. Do. Humans. I mean, uh, have you heard of the Internet? Nobody ever really sleeps anymore, people. **flashback to me zombie-staring into a screen thinking ‘one more scroll’**

5. They’re absolute attention-whores.

Ghosts like to get themselves noticed and grab people’s attention… *rolls eyes* I knew it! I always suspected that Kamaal R. Khan was a ghost! Nobody ever listened!

6. They can read minds and look into the future.

Can they read that I genuinely don’t think that they exist and see that I’m never going to in the future either?

7. Ghosts can’t kill you.

‘Cause how will they grab our attention if we’re dead? Amirite?! *falls over laughing* No, turns out they can only make you kill yourself by taking over your senses. Uhm. Thanks. That, uh, changes everything.

8. They create trouble ’cause they’re bored.

Oh man. I can SO relate to that. *sigh* That’s basically all I did throughout college, people. Not even kidding a little bit.

9. Cats have a special connection with ghosts.

Cats, they say, are the only animal that can actually SEE them. I suppose, the cats told the researchers this during their long discussion about life after death, right after they decided to buy a boat.

10. There is such a thing as friendly ghosts.

Yes. A friendly ghost. That’s all I needed. Oh, they’re also known as imaginary friends. For those of us who don’t have any in the real world.

11. Churches are more haunted than cemeteries.

Because only the loser-ghosts still hang out at cemeteries, guys! What is this, like 1960?!

12. Ghosts don’t like change a lot.

Just like Amitabh Bachchan in Mohabbatein, ghosts aren’t big fans of parivartan, either. Is it then also safe to say that ghosts probably don’t like maverick new music teachers making rebels out of model students either?

13. The White House is haunted.

The residence of the American President? Of course. Had to be. It’s the only way to explain why so many Americans are even considering voting for Donald Trump.

14. Ghosts love the scent of lemons.

Really? Did the researcher go on a date with the ghost to find this out? Do they also love the colour green and spend their free time watching rom-coms?

15. Ghosts do actually have a sense of humour.

They do? *phew* Okay then, I’m sure they’ll be able to laugh at this and not haunt me to death tonight. Yay to that!

16. Mobile phones. They’re scared of mobile phones.

Apparently cellphones are killing off ghosts with their electric signals and noises. Wow. Chalo, at least the rules for hanging with real friends AND imaginary friends are all the same – Put the damn phone down!

17. Einstein said ghosts are real.

Sure Einstein spoke about the energy of universe being constant and how the energy that cannot be destroyed transforms into new energy. But we haven’t found anything that conclusively says that he believed in ghosts. And even if he did. He was a really, really smart guy, but even he didn’t know everything. Don’t forget that even the smartest minds once thought the earth was flat.

Well, I hope you’re leaving here having learned a thing or two about ghosts. Y’know, things like – they don’t exist. And other things like – no, they really don’t.