When it comes to haunted houses, the entity in charge of all the scares is usually something like an old nun or the spirit of someone who was murdered and now seeks eternal vengeance. But why should human ghosts have all the fun?
The Sun reported that the ghost of a horny monkey – a masturbating marsupial if you will – haunts Athelhampton Hall, a popular English country estate.
The estate, located in Dorset, near Dorchester, is considered one of the most haunted places in the UK. In fact, many couples with an interest in the paranormal come here to tie the knot.
Tourists claim they can often hear the monkey (named Martyn) cackling and masturbating in the building, which was built in the 15th Century. He loves to swing, scratch his balls, and be ghostly.
According to the old tale, the Martyn family that lived here had a monkey, who was allowed to freely roam the halls. When one of the Martyn daughters had an unhappy love affair and decided to kill herself, the monkey followed her. When she climbed a set of hidden stairs to a secret room, Martyn followed, watched as she killed herself, and then starved to death in that room.
Despite this unforgiving backstory, Martyn’s ghost is apparently as friendly as they come. By the looks of it, a little too friendly!
