Alcohol isn’t meant to be consumed by a decent Indian girl. But, since society is letting you do it, you might as well conform to how ‘they’ want you to drink, right?
1. First of all, drink only when there is ‘a man’ around to take care of you.
After all he is going to save your dignity when you get drunk.
2. Always let the guy decide what you should drink and let him then order the drink also.
Because respectable girls always seek permission and validation from the men in their lives.
3. Always go for red wine, because that’s ladylike.
4. White wine is also okay. If you don’t want to drink wine, drink Rosé.
5. If there are no wines, you must order a pretty looking cocktail, preferably vodka-based.
Because all girls have a thing for ‘girly’ drinks only.
6. Definitely don’t ask for beer because you’re a respectable girl, not a tomboy.
7. And if you do order a beer, definitely do not chug because that’s not very ladylike, either.
8. Whatever you do, don’t order a whiskey because you’re not a man.
9. Never drink straight from the bottle because respectable girls don’t have bad manners.
10. Don’t drink more than 2 drinks.
Because respectable girls can’t handle more than that, by default.
11. Don’t drink along with a group of men because who knows what they will think.
12. Don’t down your drink in one shot, either because that’s not what respectable girls do.
13. Don’t have conversations about what alcohol you like.
Because respectable girls are not supposed to like alcohol anyway.
14. Don’t drink around elders because that makes you very ‘unsanskaari’.
What will your uncles and aunties think?
15. Don’t drink if you have kids.
Because what kind of an example are you setting for your kids?
16. Don’t drink if your husband or BF is not drinking.
Because respectable girls always put their better half before themselves.
17. Don’t drink if you want to go from side chick to main girl.
18. Don’t drink if you want to impress his family.
19. Don’t smoke while drinking.
20. Smoke up? Hush! Good girls shouldn’t say such things.
21. Don’t drink alone at a bar because then, you’re just ‘asking for it’.
22. Don’t drink if you want to be taken seriously by a boy.
23. Don’t drink if you want him to think you’re ‘not available’.
24. Don’t drink if you don’t want to be taken advantage of.
25. Don’t drink. Ever.
Here’s to being sanskaari!
Holds whiskey glass up for a *cheers*