Narendra Modi wants India to make instead of importing. After his epic heroics at Badrinath, it isn’t crazy to believe that we might just have an Indian Santa Claus- under the ‘Make in India’ scheme.
If that happens, here’s what we think might follow. If Santa was Indian:
1. He’d have alias like ‘ Jholi Baba ‘, ‘ Gift devta ‘ and ‘ Laal Baadshah ‘.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_1.jpg)
2. Mamata Bannerjee would call him a maoist for wearing red and giving out freebies.
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3. There’d be Santa temples in villages.
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4. People would force feed milk to Santa idols on ‘Santa Ekadashi’ according to the Hindu ‘ Tithi ‘.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_4.jpg)
5. He’d ride a bail-gaadi in villages and cabs in cities (except Delhi of course)
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![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_5.jpg)
6. He would not enter via a chimney. Houses in India don’t have chimneys. He’d enter through a ‘ roshandaan ‘.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_6.jpg)
7. He’d be a regular ‘Kumbh-Mela’ delegate
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8. Sometimes kids would get ‘ sabun ‘ instead of mobile phones. Santa would say it’s a norm.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_8.jpg)
9. Kids would leave ‘ raat ka baasi chawal ‘ in old socks. Because that’s all Indian moms would spare.
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![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_9.jpg)
10. Santa would not bring cookies. He’d bring ‘ gajak ‘ and ‘ patti ‘. And sometimes vegetables.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_10.jpg)
11. Sometimes he’d bring money instead of gifts. The kid would then touch his feet. Dad would then grab the note and check it under light.
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12. Santa would have a list of all good kids. Hence women would contact him to find good matches. Side business.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_12.jpg)
13. Indian Santa would live in Jammu and take the Jammu Tawi Express.
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![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_13.jpg)
14. Only good kids ( 85% and above, for General categories) get gifts. *Reservations apply
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_14.jpg)
15. There’d be Christmas time scams every year. Santa would blame the ruling government. Government would blame the opposition. Opposition wouldn’t care.
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/567732286e510a6f3a75a167_15.jpg)
Although we are joking, Subramanian Swamy isn’t. He still believes Santa Claus is Indian and his real name is Sant Akhilesh . The more you know. 🙂
Peace!
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