Time, for us Indians, does not flow in the normal natural order. We have bent it to such extremes that it can even challenge Einstein's theories. Step aside science, as you cannot understand time as we Indians do.
You know, things like weddings. When you reach the venue at 9 o'clock when the invite says 7. Because time pe toh trains bhi nahi aati hain.
And even after that, you can put in your headphones and have a bite to eat of the entire chappan bhog because baraati aaney mein toh aur 4 ghantey lagengey. And if you are one those highly-punctual people, 7 will be so early that even the cooks will mistake you for a worker and ask you to chop the onions.
Be it your cab driver or your lousy friend, 5 minutes for them defies the laws of physics. It doesn't hold a constant value but rather equals to jab mera mann karega.
Everyone's been there when the cab driver says that they're 5 minutes but they actually mean pichle do ghantey se CNG pump ke line mein khada hai.
And don't get me started with those friends who pull off a '5 minute mein' for the millionth time. Outsmart them by reaching the place only after they reach i.e. 2 ghantey baad.
Or the numerous kal se(s) which never sees the light of day kyunki #InProcrastinationWeBelieve.
Be it going to the gym or eating healthy, it gets stuck in a never-ending loop of kal se which then follows the subsequent guilt. The dreams of leading a healthy life stretches with every uttering of kal se. At least there's something that follows the rules of time
Even movie theatres have become used to our late personality so much so that the movie starts only after 30 minutes of blaring advertisements.
If you go to watch a movie which is supposed to start at 5, you know you can be 30 minutes late because they’ll play out advertisements you don’t really care about.
And don't get me started about banks, who close their counters at 3.
Just to be on the safer side, make sure that you’re there by 11 because apparently, they operate in another time zone.
Now we're not saying that we Indians are always late. Take our parents for example. They'll be ready, with all their bags packed at 9 AM, even when their flight is at 8 PM.
But honestly, kya faidaa hota hai isse? They're just on the opposite side of the spectrum.
If you spent the last few minutes reading this piece, well, congratulations as according to the Indian Standard Time, you did not waste any.