Influencers are the new celebrities. It’s true. And unlike real celebrities, they often do over the top stupid stuff that makes you ask WHY! Imagine just the dumbest thing you can think of.
1. White people will find creative ways to die but still think Dal is too hot to eat! Bears look cute because they are basically like dogs. Except for the part where they weigh a ton and have won an Oscar for Supporting Actor for their role in mauling Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant.
2. That’s her trying to throw her dead mother’s ashes in the river with the wind flowing towards her! As you can imagine, the wind gods didn’t want her mom’s ashes because well, physics and common sense.
3. Yeah, he ded, just doesn’t know it yet! It’s why we have the zoom feature, uncle. Just use that. And as a general rule, don’t approach 4-legged creatures that are about 10 ft in height and have antlers longer than you.
4. See, here’s the thing about leaning on doors. If someone opens them from the other side, it’s the shortest route to Destination F**ked. Unfortunately for this lady, that enlightenment came rather painfully.
5. Getting both her legs broken after trying to do Yoga from an 80-ft balcony was the best possible outcome that could have come out of this endeavour. Look, we know Yoga is boring AF. It’s supposed to be. There’s no need to spice it up.
6. I wish I had the words to explain what’s happening but I suppose we’ll just have to say ‘white people, amirite?’ and move on.
7. Her ponytail has been like that for a few weeks at this point. See, the genius applied some gorilla glue and 15 hair washes later, it still doesn’t budge. I mean, we have all applied fevikwik on our palms as kids and we all know how difficult it is to get off. So, why oh why, would a grown ass woman do this?
8. Yeah, do Yoga wherever you want but not at the Berlin Holocaust Memorial Site, FFS! For the last time, the best place to do Yoga is in our own houses where nobody can see you being stupid.
9. I want to say hope he gets eaten but that won’t be nice so I won’t say, I hope he gets eaten. And if he wasn’t eaten after this, I wouldn’t say I was disappointed but it wouldn’t just be the day I would have had if he were eaten; ya know what I mean?
10. This influencer unleashed a f**king Cobra on her neighbours by mistake. First of all, why do you have a Cobra? Snakes are not pets, Lord Voldemort.
11. This influencer wanted to #Wanderlust so bad that he basically photoshopped the same picture of clouds in every picture. She probably didn’t think anyone would notice. But let’s be honest, if you have a blue tick and you frequent Twitter, someone is always coming for you.
This travel ‘influencer’ spookily has the same clouds in every photo. 😲🤔😆 pic.twitter.com/uYzXhTiRJp— Matt Navarra (@MattNavarra) August 28, 2019
In the wise words of one David Rose, “You look like the downfall of society.”