“Is it better to have loved and lost your legs than never to have loved at all?” says the Khap Panchayat Twitter handle, in one of its profound tweets! Run by Tushar Sharma, an IT student from Haryana, the Khap Panchayat Twitter handle is known for its dark commentary on the regressive brand of justice in rural India.
From tweets ranging from honour killings, women’s rights and education, this Twitter account deals with prejudice with unmatched satire.
Here are some of the tweets:
Really surprised and angry that police has arrested students including females at midnight. Who the fuck allowed women to join that college?
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 18, 2015 At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the whole world sleeps, we catch a couple making out, set them on fire in a field. #haiku
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 15, 2015 We condemn Mumbai police’s infringement of common public’s right to moral police and lynch couples trying to get privacy. What are we for??
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 9, 2015 A daughter is equal to ten sons so we kill her because no one can afford college education for ten kids these days.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 9, 2015 #SelfieWithDaughter pic.twitter.com/kyCywasKwM
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) June 29, 2015 We are strongly against the torture of dogs in this Chinese festival. They should only torture poultry, cows, goats and women like we do.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) June 23, 2015 Married women should always wear sari with pallu. Sari with pallu isn’t provocative. Hence, marital rape doesn’t exist. @narendramodi high 5
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) April 30, 2015 Hey gurl are you a godrej ki almari because you’ll remain inside my house all the time. #khappickuplines #romance
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) June 10, 2014 We had our second Twitter birthday this month. Three more years and we’ll be marriageable. Lolz.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) June 9, 2014 In our village, YOLO means you-only-love-once because by the time you do it again you’re dead.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) February 13, 2014 When a girl asks us if she can use a mobile phone like her male counterparts. pic.twitter.com/CArtVHCRID
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) March 18, 2015 She looked into his eyes seductively. “Suck me till I’m dry” she said. He demanded a Bolero and 20L in cash as dowry. #50ShadesOfKhet
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) March 17, 2015 Before judging Sharad Yadav pls see how provocatively Smriti Irani invited people inside her house in the Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi song.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) March 16, 2015 Someone prevented a few kids from working and got a Nobel. We have stopped thousands of women from doing jobs and no one appreciates us.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) October 10, 2014 Only idiots buy from Flipkart. REAL men demand dowry.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) October 7, 2014 “Deti hai to de, warna jal le.” #dowrypickuplines
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) October 3, 2014 What is red, has spots, and is the focus of our orbit? Your ass when we find out you’ve married a girl outside your caste.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) September 26, 2014 Why is the Duchess of Cambridge pregnant again? Didn’t they have a boy the first time around?
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) September 8, 2014 The fault in our stars. Or as we call it in India, a manglik.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) September 4, 2014 Issued in public interest. pic.twitter.com/1sywYmzh3X
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 29, 2014 “Make me feel like a real woman,” she yelled. He set all her educational degrees on fire. #50ShadesOfKhet
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 28, 2014 Supporting Arsenal is like falling in love in our village. Just when you think everything is going to be fine someone gets injured.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 26, 2014 Yo momma so old, she got married at a legal age. #khapinsults
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 26, 2014 Really don’t understand why people made Alia Bhatt is dumb jokes in the first place. She’s a woman. Isn’t it obvious?
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 26, 2014 What the shit. This “The Good Wife” on Zee Cafe doesn’t have even one woman wearing ghunghat and making rotis in the kitchen. Who do we sue?
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 26, 2014 Just ate Rajnigandha and beat up this shopkeeper who was courting a girl from another caste. Muh me Rajnigandha, kadmo me baniya.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 19, 2014 This Raksha Bandhan, vow to protect your sister. Flush her cellphone and tell her to remain inside the house.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) August 10, 2014 How many same-gotra couples does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Dead people can’t change light bulbs. Lolz.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) July 31, 2014 “One small step out of the house for a woman. A giant leap for our blood pressure.” #Khapollo11
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) July 19, 2014 If Sharapova wore longer skirts while playing she’d know who Sachin was.
— Khap Panchayat (@KhapPanchayat) July 3, 2014 