Celebrity Twitter accounts are generally formal, calculated and mostly pretentious. Precisely why we can’t thank their parody accounts enough for spicing up things a little bit. One such famous personality is Facebook co-founder, Mark Zuckerberg. We chanced upon a Twitter parody account of Mark & it turned out to be so honest, it almost hurt!
Being the privacy invader that Facebook is, Twitter parody account “Not Mark Zuckerberg” says things we suspect the real Mark Zuckerberg would write in his personal diary every night.
So, here are some of the most brutally honest tweets by “Not Mark Zuckerberg” that you can’t afford to miss out on:
1. Facebook’s Twitter account is having a hard time keeping its shit together.
At Facebook, we are trying to get less awful at using social media. pic.twitter.com/ssxQsnMapn
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) February 12, 2015
2. Mark, the truth bombs hurt!
At Facebook, we’re moving away from calling all of you “users.” It’s more honest to just call you “the used.”
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) December 17, 2014
3. Mark, stahp!
Hey, you. Yeah, you. That status you posted on Facebook has gotten way fewer likes than you were hoping for. How can you live with yourself?
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) November 3, 2014
4. So, a compilation of “year in review” videos?
When you die, all of your greatest accomplishments on Facebook will flash before your eyes.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) September 25, 2014
5. Alright, alright.. I’m logging in!
Hey, log in and catch up on your News Feed! These auto-playing videos aren’t going to auto-watch themselves.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) September 18, 2014
6. So are you, Mark. So are you.
Happy Friday! Never forget that in real life you’re a hugely disappointing version of the person you portray on your Facebook profile.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) June 13, 2014
7. Don’t be like Mark.
I heard your criticisms of us making Messenger a separate mobile app, and I’ve finally responded by giving it a stand-alone website as well.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) April 9, 2015
8. #FamilyGoals
Happy ninth birthday to our annoying little brother, Twitter. Keep the stealable ideas coming, squirt.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) March 20, 2015
9. I see you, spammer Mark!
Facebook Messenger has a new feature that lets you give us your debit card info for free. As a secondary feature, you can send people money.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) March 18, 2015
10. Mark Zuckerberg, the Santa Claus our generation deserves.
There are two men who keep tabs on all of you, gather data on what you like and intrude on your lives. I get vilified; Santa gets a holiday.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) December 25, 2014
11. Mark Zuckerberg, the real Grinch!
I hate Halloween because people are wearing masks and enjoying too much privacy.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) October 31, 2014
12. It’s a difficult day at the Facebook office on Halloween.
Trick-or-treating is stressful when you’ve already used your best trick on over a billion people.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) October 31, 2014
13. I’M TRYING TO, DAMMIT!
Go ahead, make my data.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) October 9, 2014
14. Could really use that!
Just think of how sophisticated the future will be with self-driving cars, self-assembling robots, and self-bragging Facebook profiles.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) October 6, 2014
15. Won’t even be surprised if that happened.
You’re soon going to have to download our Messenger app to write Facebook messages. And you’ll need a third app if you want to send them.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) July 29, 2014
16. Yeah, so glad Facebook never asked me for a second app.
Just tried to do a check-in on Foursquare but it’s saying I have to get a second app? Dumb.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) August 11, 2014
17. You put the ‘anal’ in ‘analog’, Mark.
When I look at a person, all I see is ones and zeros.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) May 29, 2014
18. We’re already doing that. You would know, Mark!
‘Like’ the change you wish to see in the world.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) April 16, 2014
19. I’m gonna take a guess and say “you did”.
It’s remarkable how different the world was when Facebook began 10 years ago. People were anonymous, productive, and content. What happened?
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) February 4, 2014
20. F**k you, fake Mark!
Facebook’s profits soared thanks to the ads you see while staring at your phone. My social network’s success is due to you being antisocial.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) January 30, 2014
21. Disguise level: Facebook.
My advertising platform is wearing a ‘social networking website’ costume.
— Not Mark Zuckerberg (@notzuckerberg) October 31, 2014
These brutally honest confessions were so depressing, I’m going to post about it on Facebook. Aaarghh!
