Waiting just the right amount before accepting that friend request. Clearing browsing history on the go. Wetting you hair to give yourself a bathe-d look. Conveniently forgetting the wallet every time. Slipping in a miss call and making that you-never-pick-calls excuse.
Remember those triumphant ‘fooled you’ moments when the feeling of being slick filled your chest/corresponding women part(can’t say b**bies because censor) with pure joy?Let’s relive those times, point-by-point in a listicle supported with GIFs because you get bored easily.
1. You recognize someone at a public place but wait for them to acknowledge it so you look cooler.
2. Staring at someone and when caught, acting like you were reading the caption on the T-shirt.
3. You wear a torn T-Shirt, and when someone notices, you act like it must have just happened/you had no idea.
4. You’re pooping in the office toilet and someone walks in the restroom, so you make zero body movement and maintain pin drop silence.
5. Have Truecaller, but will act completely surprised when an acquaintance calls.
6. You trip and fall, then act like you were tying your laces.
7. Watch Hindi TV soaps secretly, but act like you have no clue who ‘Balika Vadhu’ is.
8. You nod along and laugh at jokes you didn’t understand, because peer pressure is a bitch!
9. Don’t know the lyrics/prayer, but lip sync it like a boss.
10. You have a huge urge to fart so you leave the room faking an incoming call, to save yourself the embarrassment.
11. Stretching your hands and wiping them on the sofa at a relative’s place.
12. You take your chance at your crush. When it doesn’t work, blame it on alcohol.
13. Eating during a class/meeting very obviously, like you’re just invisible and no one saw it.
14. When you don’t want to share your food with your vegetarian friends, you tell them it’s non-veg.
Well guess what guys, everyone knows it! Everyone’s doing it. I know you are reading this but you won’t share! Saalon !