I loved 3 Idiots so much, I didn’t want the movie to end. But it did. And I was sad. I wished so much more to happen in there.

So then, here are a few things that could have happened differently just for the sake of fun, and not because of logic. The following scenarios happen irrespective of each other and there is no logical sequence at all. Read on.

1. Raju, Rancho and Farhan die of chronic stomach infection from ‘Khujli wali roti’. The fucking end.

2. Chanting ‘Aal is well’ like chutiyas , does not miraculously bring the still baby to life. It doesn’t kick even once. Everyone boycotts Rancho for being so stupid.

3. The three idiots crash a wedding in Delhi and try to break an engagement. Friends of the guy beat different kinds of shit out of all three. ” Yeh dilli hai BC! ” echoes.

4. Rancho stays alone in Ladakh and does individual research. He realizes that filing patents is not that easy without peer review or labs around you. He gets no offers from foreign companies. He shows off his working models in the ‘Ladakh Mela’ every year and earns a meagre living.

5. Chatur figures out what Balatkar means and corrects it in time. Raju does not learn a lesson and later joins Infosys at mass placement. He fakes a smile everyday.

6. Farhan goes to Brazil. The famous Brazilian wildlife photographer exploits him for an year as an intern and takes all the accolades for his good work. Then he sends Farhan back to India. Running out of options, Farhan starts preparing for IAS and also runs a Facebook page called ‘Farhan Photography.’ He writes SSC exam too, for backup.

7. Piya falls in love with Rancho. They have an affair for like three years after which she realizes this is true and pure love. She then marries Suhas, because he’s rich.

8. The real Ranchod das Chanchad gets the IIT degree in his name. But his clients do a background check on him and figure out he’s a fraud after looking at the terrible photoshop job on the convocation picture.

9. Farhan fakes a heart attack to get down from his flight. The airline charges him an exorbitant fine. He has to sell all his property and instruments. Also, Air India air hostess sits on him for making her work so much.

10. The ‘vacuum cleaner turns suction pump’ setting doesn’t work as planned. Baby is sucked out in parts. Rancho is jailed.

11. Chatur is terminally injured from the electric shock to his ‘instrument’; the cocky kid is sent to juvenile home, while his parents plead to the police. It’s a sad, sad scene.

12. Viru Sahastrabuddhe makes his son write JEE again and again. His son fails everytime and then jumps from a moving train. It was Reva express, so he doesn’t die but gets a couple of limbs chopped off. Next year, he gets in IIT obviously. Nobody judges Viru, because well, it’s IIT Delhi!

13. Rancho asks the space-pencil question to ridicule the dean. The dean takes it personally and murders Rancho in a hilarious duel/street fight. He’s later jailed.

14. Nobody comes back after 10 years for the bet.

15. The idiots run away after jumbling the papers. The invigilator doesn’t know their roll numbers but he sure knows their faces. He goes back and tracks them easily. All three get sem backs.

16. Viru collects the urine samples disposed in his letter box and runs tests. Raju and Farhan test positive for steroids and are disqualified from writing final exams. Viru is questioned for possession of illegal urine too, but gets off the hook.

17. Chatur is devastated from the humiliation he faced at college and starts doing drugs. His creative thinking gets a real boost, and he becomes a big time movie maker. He’s enjoying his life while Rancho still teaches at Ladakh.

18. Chatur takes the humiliation really seriously and becomes a serial killer. He terminates all three idiots one by one, and at each funeral, he delivers the same ‘ Chamatkar ‘ speech. People love it. Also, he leaves an underwear with a note, ‘ Tohfu kabool karo! ‘ at every crime scene.

19. Joy Lobo tries to hang himself but the fan falls down. He realizes he’s not a good engineer and becomes a musician. ‘Give me some sunshine’ becomes a best seller. His parents are happy. Nobody gives a fuck about the IIT thing now.

20. Raju tells his awesome story at the interview. The panel praises him. He does not get the job though, because that’s what interviewers do. Raju remains desperate, and poor and unhappy all his life. The end.


What next? Dhoom 3?