Over the last couple years, the country has seen the rise of the self-styled Gau Rakshaks. Religious reasons aside, it’s fairly obvious our country has more pressing matters to deal with. Issues that maybe really need a ‘rakshak’. Like these ones.
Honestly, the ride to work is a mess. Whether it’s traffic, or unseasonal rains, or non-functioning traffic signals, driving on Indian roads is a pain. So what could be better, than our very Road Rakshak service to help us out when we’re (literally) stuck in a jam?
As the old saying goes, “Give an Indian a corner, and we’ll give you a paan stain.” But seriously, this is the need of the hour. Someone to protect our street corners, our building corners, heck, our staircase corners. Enter, Peek Rakshak.
It seems like there’s barely a day without mention of a stalking case, or worse. The police seem to be ineffective, so an Anti-Stalking Rakshak would be the call of the day. Chances are they’d be more appreciated than the Gau Rakshaks.
Anti-Censor Board Rakshak
With the recent sacking of Pahlaj Nihalani, it would seem like our problems with censorship will soon be a thing of the past. However, the CBFC is not just one person. It’s more likely that unneccesarry censorship will remain a problem for some time at least. And the Anti-Censor Board Rakshak will (hopefully) ensure that art and creativity are not stiffled in the name of sanskar.
The one phrase that governs Indian society more than anything else. “Log kya kahenge?” The phrase is gaining a new lease of life thanks to the brilliant Hasan Minhaj. The Log Rakshaks will ensure that the voice of ‘the log’ will be drowned by the sounds of people following their dreams everywhere.
Net Neutrality Rakshak
A couple of years ago, Net Neutrality was all everyone could talk about. While a lot of people stood up for it and it seemed like the battle had been won, the war is not over yet. But the Net Neutrality Rakshaks will always be on the frontlines, like the Night’s Watch, holding the White Walkers at bay.
It’s safe to say the effects on corruption by demonetisation are debateable. Corruption has always been a problem for our country, no matter who has been in charge. And let’s be honest we are implicit in our apathay. But if we had an Anti-Corruption Rakshak, think of the possibilities.
We live in a country where over 60% of the population does not have access to basic sanitary facilities. The need of the hour? A group that protects and promotes the use toilets, everywhere in the country. Who knows? Maybe Akshay Kumar can be the face of the rakshaks.
Just like the cases of stalking, everyday we’re inundated with so many reports, telling us how safe our streets really are. And especially at night. Step in, Night Rakshaks.
Swachh Bharat Rakshak
Well, other than keeping the streets and our country clean, maybe starting up the Swachh Bharat Rakshaks would help us do away with that Swachh Bharat cess, eh? Two birds with one stone.
But on a serious note, violence is never the answer. Like many great people have said before us, if you want change, you need to be change. And no, not through violence, but persistence.