From PTSD during results season to I.C.S.E ka colonial hangover, nothing has changed since I graduated from high school. Seriously, how are you still flexing your pseudo-intellectual, ultra-superior grasp of the English language?

If you’re an I.C.S.E grad, chances are you can probably, definitely relate to these X things:

1. You’ve spent twice as much time decorating your project than adding actual content.

Examiner cares more about the glossy laminated covers and the aesthetic symmetry on the index page than the Third Battle of Panipat. 

2. Harry Potter’s Horcruxes were easier to find than human settlements in grid 6969.

Unless you want to grow up and become Dora The Explorer in life, kya point hain topo sheet ka?

3. ML Agarwal still haunts your nightmares. 

Exam se ek raat pehle integral equations ka chapter shuru karna is an emotion bro. 

4. When other boards were sad, you experienced an impassionate influx of melancholic doldrums. 

I googled synonyms of sad. 

5. Oh Shakespeare! Where ought I even begin?

Antonio and Bassanio were entitled, whiny man-children. Portia was a bad bitch. Jessica was an ungrateful snake. Shylock was the only one wronged and the real hero of the play (fight me on that). 

From Merchant Of Venice to Macbeth all of Shakespeare’s plays were Much Ado About Nothing. Also, Stephano, Salarino, Salerio, Salanio, why are all background characters variations of the same name? It’s as if I.C.S.E went back in time and bribed Shakespeare to make the MCQ section as hard as humanly possible. 

6. The introduction and conclusion of every 25-mark essay are complete, utter bullshit. 

Writing the exact same sentence six different ways with thirty different keywords is an art and I.C.S.E kids are the masters. 

7. “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

If this line doesn’t live rent free in your head, then you’re not really an I.C.S.E kid and you’re degree is fake. 

8. Stream stigma.

Arts – they’re all gonna be career-less housewives, Commerce – inko sirf masti karna hain, Science – bas isi mein real future hain. 

9. Thoughts on C.B.S.E.

I.C.S.E > C.B.S.E. That’s not even a point, just a hard fact.

Ye God complex kya I.C.S.E ke syllabus mein sikhaaya jaata hain?