He’s the hero Facebook deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight. ” – Mark Zuckerberg, about a good-hearted stalker Likers will like. Commenters will comment. Stalkers will stalk. These are men(or women) on a mission. They are silent observers, agents of the night, stealth warships on the web.

The genius of cyber-stalking has been defamed by people with cruel, criminal intentions. I condemn the ‘sinners’ for using this inappropriately. But we also need a vigilante to protect us. What if you had to stalk ‘suspects’ to save the earth from an alien cyber attack? What if you’re a mom who needs to stalk her kids on Facebook to ‘keep a check on them’? What if you’re a creep who wants to look at beautiful pictures? Ok, that’s the usual one. Anyway, I present to you a salient guide for using Facebook in ‘stealth mode’. Be wary, be responsible and use it well, because if you don’t, well… surprise! you’re a criminal. 🙂

P.S.: For ease of writing and sounding James Bond-y , I’ll term the ‘stalkee’ as the ‘target’ throughout this article.

1. First thing. Hunting your target down.

When you’re finding a user on Facebook, basic search by name doesn’t always help, because you know, ‘R@m@nD33P K@uR’. So you need to resort to step-wise top-down search. The Facebook graph search lets you find stuff like, people from your hometown who like Honey Singh. After you delete them, you can move on with your search for the target.

Put filters like high school, hometown and go on to advanced filters such as things they like and places they have visited.


2. Once you’ve zeroed-in on the target,enter their extended social circle.

The good thing about Facebook is, you’ll find mutual friends everywhere. But even if you don’t, add one or two. If you know the target, go down the memory lane; if not, Google search the hell out of them.You’ll find at least one deserted profile on a social platform; Hi5, Yahoo, Google+… kuchh to milega hi . Copy contacts from there, follow step one on each, and voila!

Assure that you add the socially awkward, neglected friends, so you don’t attract too much attention. Anyone with < 3 likes on their profile picture would do.


3. Use the ‘Close Friend’ feature

Add that friend, and mark them in your ‘close friends’ category. They won’t get to know. And your news feed will be full of their shit, increasing your chances of following your target closely. Check for any suspicious activities and report back with aberrations.


4. ‘Follow’ other friends of the target

You can’t add too many friends from the target’s list, but you can follow them without making things suspicious.You’ll get public posts, and you’ll get their friends’ public posts. Remember, it’s all for a good cause.


5. Fake profile for backup

Create a fake profile and slowly build it on the side. Take your time and add some friends. Feel free to add more friends from target’s list here. Follow everyone. Like a couple of ‘pout’ pictures and shameless selfies so that you look normal. Write a bunch of stupid generic comments. Slowly and steadily, crawl into the circle and add the target ! Remember however, never send a Candy Crush request. That’s flirting too much with the line of fire. You don’t want to do that.

This will get you important notifications from the target. Keep in mind that this is a backup. Don’t even touch a like button from the real profile.


6.Ghost Mode: Deactivate-Reactivate trick

This is probably the craziest feature for stealth users. As it turns out, you can deactivate and then reactivate your account back, any number of times. And when your profile is deactivated, you cannot be unfriended. You become a ghost. Just check back in, at odd hours, and do your research.This will fool-proof your assault. I know! Crazy!


7. Use your fake profile to ‘back search’ pictures

Go to the recent profile picture of the target and hit the left arrow. Basically reach back to the earliest profile pictures and run a thorough research.

Be alert and stay away from the like button. Read the comments, but don’t comment. You don’t want to look stupid. And creepy.


8. Details matter.Thorough search the recent activities.

Like some(not all) active pages they like, so you get notifications. Keep tabs on what recent posts they made on open groups so you know of any evil plans.


9. Follow on other platforms like Twitter, Google+

Now is the right time to get aggressive. Follow target on all social platforms connected with Facebook. Google+ is easier to get away with because nobody checks it, but it has your YouTube comments. Twitter is a little tricky, but will work if they have enough followers already. Try Orkut too because …. ohh, sorry.


10. Feel free to check the blog link they share for additional information

Check their blogs because they share the link on Facebook. Don’t worry, because nobody cares about blogs.

Additionally, check any public albums on Google Picassa accounts. They’re like deserted islands. You may find a treasure that you cherish for life, or a horrific image that will scar your psyche. But you are a soldier. You’ve got to do this.


Collect all the information and save it at one secure location, preferably, your blog. And you’re done! You have successfully stalked the target in the classiest of ways! You’re welcome.