As a person who lived the first 18 years of her life in Uttar Pradesh, shifting to Delhi came with its own surprises. Prominent among them was the image of UP that people have in their heads.
Somehow, people still seem to think it's this dark, dusty place, which is the hub of every bad activity. Which is just shocking. ITNA misconception?
Anyway, since it's unlikely that people will educate themselves, I decided to do them a favour and bust some myths. We are tired of hearing these things and they are not even funny anymore. Here you go:
1. Tum sab katta rakhte ho?
For the love of God...NO. And we also don't jump out of open-air jeeps and start shooting mindlessly. Mirzapur itna bhi internalise nahin karna tha.
2. So, have you tried paan-gutka-masala?
Forget about me, why don't YOU try paan so that you stop talking for few minutes?
3. Your English is quite good for a person from UP.
Yes my English is good, and unlike you, so is my common sense.
4. Don't take offense, but I have heard people from UP are very unkempt.
Don't take offense but that beer bottle has been lying in the back of your car for 3 years.
5. Teri shaadi nahin karwa rahe ghar waale? UP mein toh kar dete hain.
Are you disappointed, Seema Taparia from Kalkaji?
6. You're from Lucknow? I thought it was Kanpur. Anyway, same difference.
Next time you say Lucknow and Kanpur are the same I'll tundey the kabab out of you.
7. You must have learnt all the gaalis in childhood only, no?
I didn't, but I wish I had. They would have come in handy right now.
8. So you guys take bribe and all in open?
Yes. And exactly when the bribe is being taken, a car stops right in front of the office, the curtains fly, the windows open and a person jumps from the ceiling.
Happy? You fan of Rohit Shetty cinematic universe.
9. You must be feeling so out of place here. You know? With the cars and the buildings!
UP hai, Harappa civilisation nahin hai. We have cars there.
10. Tum sab ladne ko kyun taiyaar rehte ho?
Tum sab stereotype karne ko kyun taiyaar rehte ho?