The last person who genuinely wanted to hear me out and truly cared about me was… a customer care representative.
Allow me to express an unpopular opinion. I enjoy conversing with customer service staff. No, not when ‘they’ call me, but the other way round. I mean, if I threw the same tantrums before my mom, she’d disown me right away, but customer service ‘understands my frustration’ with no judgements whatsoever.
These guys, on the other side of the phone, might be the epitome of patience, yet life doesn’t come easy to them. They have to deal with complaints that are far more tricky for a regular human to comprehend. We bring to you the dumbest complaints that prove customer care staff must be superhumans who respond to them on a routine basis.
1. “A client slipped in the bathroom of a hotel and broke his hand! Blame the hotel for that and request a refund!”
2. “The mail had a subject to the effect of ‘Special offers for you’ or the like, and she had thought that the offers were actually customized just for her, and was pretty let down when she realized they were for everyone else too.”
3. “Once a student sent us an email that why wasn’t he asked for tea in tea break in an online session. Astounded!”
4. “Dear Sainsbury’s. The chicken in my sandwich tastes like it was beaten to death by Hulk Hogan. Was it?”
5. “A pet shop refunded a customer after they complained the hamster recently purchased was “neither friendly nor cuddly.””
6. “A customer contacted their electricity provider complaining that a power failure resulting from high winds caused them to miss a ‘vital episode’!”
7. “A housemate of mine was working at M&S Customer Service. She met a very silly friend of ours at a party we had. Next day she receives a call at work: ‘Hello? I’d like to make a complaint. I bought a teddy bear at your store and it’s still alive.’ Just his sense of humor. She had to treat callers very seriously, of course, and it was a while before he put her out of her misery and introduced himself.”
8. “I work at a concert venue. I had a customer call the day after the show wanting a refund because the artist did not play his favorite song during the show.”
9. “I worked for an airline. A customer calls in wanting to go to a city we don’t fly to. No problem! I tell him we fly to [city] and then they can take another airline to [final destination]. He starts screaming, ‘Are you new? How can you be so stupid? I am on your website and you DO fly there!’ I explained that I had been employed for a mere 25 years with that airline, but I’m always learning!”
10. “I once worked customer service for a company that sold books on how to use essential oils for different health issues. We had a man call in saying, ‘I don’t see any sections regarding tumors. What oil do you guys suggest?’ The rep on the phone said, ‘Um…we recommend a doctor.’”
Not all heroes wear capes, some politely say “Aasha karte hain aapka din shubh ho.”