It’s your long-awaited best friend’s Sangeet this month and you’re ready to set the stage ablaze. You start off by looking for outfit ideas and suddenly come across Deepika’s look in Ram Leela. You’re totally electrified and want to pull off the Exact. Same. Look. 

You’re cool because the outfit isn’t all that demanding. Just a blouse with crystal hand embroidery, floral zardozi work on the sleeves and the neckline you ask? Just 9 inches.

So, you’re all set to turn your dreamy Sangeet outfit into reality and suddenly you’re not allowed to get it stitched! Yeah, you guessed it right, it’s the neckline where the trouble began. But what you can’t guess is the one coming between you and your second-hand Leela look.

Is it your mom? No, you’ve already convinced her weeks in advance. So is it pados wali Lata aunty? Hell no, you own a Ph.D in not giving two f**ks about her unsolicited suggestions. So the only one who’d take the honour in ‘not allowing’ you to do get it stitched is *drumrolls* your friendly neighbourhood Darzi

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Personally speaking, my tailor wale bhaiya isn’t a bad guy, you know. He stitches my nearly-impossible outfit ideas into a beautiful suit. He’s a nice guy until I request him, I repeat, request him to allow me a deep cut in my own blouse and pray he doesn’t say no.

I sincerely feel, he takes it too personally; he’s god fearing which is sweet but not meeting my demands for my only best friend’s Sangeet will add a couple of more gunaah in his bucket *cries and complains to God.*

Only if my tailor wale bhaiya was as cool as Rajkummar Rao in Stree, if nothing would work, I could at least try a ‘Vicky pliij.’


Maybe he isn’t the only one to be called out, it’s your mom standing right behind you with sharp wide eyes staring into the tailor’s soul. Man, he gotta do what your mom says, after all you’re not the one settling his bill, right?

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I wonder where I may use the sanskaar-certificate I get based on my neckline. I hope the parameter was common for all.

Funny how guys peeing openly on the road doesn’t bother anyone but a hint of a girl’s cleavage creates havoc in the life of every passer-by! 

I mean, would Kajrare ever be the same if the tailor threw tantrums in designing a costume that the performance demanded? Not that I’m drawing a comparison between Aishwarya and I but hamari bhi koi khwaish hai ki nahi?


Desi girls always have to adjust their choices under the society’s so-called approval and this is exactly what we need to retire from in 2022. You know I’m sick of bargaining my neckline at the tailor shop from 9 inches to 8 to 7. F**k this shit, please. 

Even after ranting so much, I’m not sure if my tailor wale bhaiya would still agree. So I’m gonna pull off a ‘Theek hai 50-100 zyada le lena par kaam badhiya karke dena’ technique and boom! Miraculously my 9-inch deep-neck blouse is ready!