Ok. I admit it. I’m clumsy. But it’s not entirely my doing. It’s just that the floor hates me, chairs are bullies and most commonplace items make it their business to get in my way. And when I look at my friends and peers – who cautiously move things out of my orbit because I’m so “spatially challenged” – I can see that I’m not really alone. At the end of the day, you all have, in one way or another, experienced these 8 “whoops-a-daisy” moments. And it’s time you wore your occasional clumsiness like a badge of honour because it’s really okay. We’re only human.
1. Things tend to ceremoniously wriggle out of your grip.
I swear this sounds like a full-blown conspiracy. One minute, you have a vice-like grip on a soda can and in the next, you’re hopelessly juggling half the objects in the room to keep a puny can from falling. It’s not really sorcery. Happens to the best of us.
2. You’ve hurt yourself and/or others while trying out something cool.
It’s not like you’re a walking hazard, but there have been moments when pulling off a cool move has proverbially broken/torn/sprained something or somebody. As creepy as it might sound, sometimes our body decides to have a life of it own and we just can’t help it. Just walk it off, man! You’re all dandy.
3. Your body is a wonderland… of bruises and scars.
Your day doesn’t feel quite as normal if you don’t inadvertently trip over your own feet. In fact, every time you take off your clothes, you discover a new cut or bruise and wonder if you’ll ever live an injury-free life. You often suspect that you might’ve been experimented on by aliens, or just so clumsy that you need to be immortalised in song. John Mayer, I’m talking to you, bruh!
4. Your ‘Stealth Mode’ is permanently broken.
Do you remember the time when you tried to sneak home in the wee hours? Yea, that didn’t work out that well, now did it? How can it when your shirt gets snagged in the door handle or you trip over the shoe-rack. Well, it’s not for the lack of trying. Things do just suddenly appear in your path.
5. You often get blamed for the havoc you didn’t cause or, did you?
Your clumsiness is so legendary that no matter where something breaks, people fondly (or not!) think of you. It’s almost like trouble (or mostly breakages and spills) follows you around like a lovelorn puppy. And in the trail of destruction and the chorus of apologies, you’ve finally resigned to eating out of plastic plates and glasses.
6. Your orbit is a veritable splash zone.
It’s not that your friends don’t like you (they really do!) but when you guys hang out, they have to make the conscious effort to give you considerable space and preferably move glasses and forks out of your path. Everyone remembers that instance when drinking a simple glass of wine became a juggling match. Needless to mention, a lot of clothes and linens were ruined that night.
7. You’ve not allowed yourself to have nice things.
That lovely china bowl that was in the family for generations? Yea, it’s probably never going to be given to you, considering how everything you touch turns to dust! (Hey! That can be your superpower) So you’ve made the conscious decision to steer clear of anything remotely nice, expensive, fragile or pretty. Good thinking, you!
8. Your food occasionally lands up on your shirt a few more times than your mouth.
I get it. It’s not like you don’t know where your mouth is, but sometimes bringing food to it is just a mighty misfire. So if you end up with a stained shirt, a lapful of food and/or a possibly ruined keyboard, don’t frown bro! You most certainly don’t need a bib or a sippy cup. ‘Cause bade bade deshon mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hain. Best to keep a Vanish stain remover handy. Quickly rub it in and throw in for a wash for stain-free clothes that don’t give your clumsiness away. Know about it in this video. #StainsMustVanish
It’s okay to be clumsy sometimes. At best, you learn to laugh at yourself. So the next time you take a tumble, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and have a go at it again. Or just try not being clumsy again.