Diwali is just around the corner and since I know I am mostly going to get soan papdi as a gift from others, I am thinking of a few things I’d gift myself. Some of them seem manageable.
1. A vacation.
Because God knows I have earned it. God also knows that if, as a Delhi person, I don’t see mountains for more than 2 years, my insides will explode. It’s time.
2. A boyfriend pillow.
Have you seen that thing? It’s the coolest unnecessary invention and I love it. This actual, human boyfriend business is not something I am going to be able to execute anyway, so.
3. A finger glove.
I don’t know how to explain it to you. I NEED these. First of all, they are David Rose approved. Second of all, I am constantly doing 4 things at a time and at least 2 of them involve touching a screen. So this can be helpful.
4. A feather-soft bed topper.
Because I am only getting 12 hours of sleep at a time, and it is not proving to be enough.
More specifically, this Diwali, I want to gift myself the ability to ask for leaves that are MINE to take without feeling like I should give people a part of my property because I asked for some time off.
6. The sanity that I lost to my exes.
To be fair, some of them were really nice. But some others were really not. I wish I could gift myself the peace of mind I lost while being with them.
7. Beer dispenser.
Not that I am nearly cool enough to have one of these at home, but anyway, would be nice to start the tap and have some booze flow out of it. Ah, dreams!
8. Touch lamps.
So basically, the way these lamps work is – you have one of these, and your partner/friend/sibling/whoever also has one. And you just touch them on your side and they light up on the other side. It’s a way to tell them they’re on your mind without texting. That seems great.
Need these right now.