2003 classic Zameen had an iconic song Dilli Ki Sardi, which went something like:

Tarsaaye tadpaaye re, saari raat jagaye re, pyaar tera Dilli ki sardi.

YouTube/ T-Series

I have heard many songs after that, from Bollywood romantic to Hollywood rap, but the profoundness of this one line remains unmatched.

And today, I want to tell all future suitors that if your pyaar is like Dilli ki sardi, please keep it to yourself. I don’t want to do anything with it.

Because, see, Dilli ki sardi this time around makes me want to stay in bed…and do nothing. Yeah, I don’t even skip YouTube ads because my hands are tucked inside the razai. 

We are both mature enough to know that will become a problem after a while. 

I am only in for platonic love for a few months which doesn’t require me to take off clothes (LOL, this article has suddenly become NSFW. Koi baat nahin).

Secondly, if pyaar is going to keep me up saari raat, that’s a no straight up. I want to sleep man, I want to sleep in, I want to sleep all day.

The song further has lyrics: Chaahat ki aag jalaa le, kambal mein mujhe chhupa le.

Okay, that is a good invitation. I am all for being inside the kambal but chaahat ka sure nahin hai. Only chaahat I have, is for my heating pad. 

Anyhow, moving on to the final bit:

Mere joban ko behkaaye re, shole pe barf lagaaye re. Tan man ki pyaas badhaaye re, reh reh ke sui chubhaaye re.

This is easy to understand – and I appreciate the depiction of biology through words like reh reh ke sui chubhaaye.

YouTube/T-Series

But I am not into this kinda BDSM. If it feels how it feels like when you step out of the shower, it’s a no from me again.

That shit makes me want to die.

I have deduced, pyaar is like Dilli ki sardi for soft boys who play with your feelings. Beware of them, okay? And beware of getting sick in this cold. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.