You go to an eating outlet with your usual gang and you and your friends start ordering. One by one everyone starts ordering and the menu stops at ‘that friend.’
‘That friend’ who scans the entire menu, keeps it on the table and then says – mujhe itni bhi bhookh nahi hai, tum log order kar lo, main tum logo mein se ek bite le lunga.
The minute this happens, you all look at each other and sigh thinking ki adha khana toh gaya.
It’s not like we hate that friend. No no! Its just that we know what will happen every time we all hang out. You know why? Because this happens every bloody time.
I mean why the hell wouldn’t you order when you clearly are so damn hungry? The minute the food arrives on our table, ek bite ke naam pe you eat half of our food, man. And no, you in fact, were way more hungry then all of us cuz you ate more than all of us combined.
But seriously, why would you do this? Is it because you’re trying to save your share of the money when the bill comes? Because, we will pay for you, man. Just let me eat my god damn chicken burger.
Or because you have the clean plate disorder? You know when you can’t do without cleaning other people’s plates even though you are not hungry?
If that’s so then we get it and we totally support you. In fact, we will keep a portion of our food just so that you can eat from it and we won’t feel bad about it AT ALL. I mean, what are friends for, right?
Or is it because you are an asshole. Yep! I said it. I understand being a kanjoos person, you know. But you can say that you don’t have money, man. There are people who ordered ‘separately’ just so that they don’t have to share their food.
So dearest dost, I love you and all and I really do appreciate you always showing up whenever we plan something. But the next time you don’t order yourself food when we go out and lift that fork to take a ‘bite from my plate’, I will literally stab you with it. So just get your own food.