Deep within the library of my mind lies a shelf called ‘useless information.’ I’ve added all the redundant stuff I remember from school there. From random formulas to ridiculous chemical equations, things that bear no significance to my life — whatsoever — oscillate within my brain’s reservoir as I struggle to keep up with the last date to file ITR. For example, I remember the upper jaw is called maxilla and lower jaw is called mandible. Seriously, why?
What’s worse is how randomly these things pop up. Once, I was having a gala ‘me-time’ while sipping my tea and watching The Crown when I found myself mincing the formula of (a+b)2. And no, I’m not crazy. But that’s just how random my mind behaves at times.
So, I decided to write down all the sundry information I remember so vividly from school to relieve myself from this unnecessary information overload. Shout out to all who can relate to my misery here!
1. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
All this information has ever done is to help me score 1 extra mark in the ‘Name them’ question of my Biology exam. That’s all. And I remember nothing about cells or cell structure but this.
2. Pathati, Pathataha, Pathanti… TF
If those Sanskrit classes taught me anything, it was the dhaatu roop of path (also the fact that play is called kreeda in Sanskrit). And the problem with this is, if you say pathati, you’re compelled to finish the table. You can’t just say pathati and stop and live your life peacefully. That doesn’t happen!
3. FLAMES. I hate myself for still knowing how to do this shiz.
You’re young, and everything is going great at school when one random dude picks random classmates and takes out FLAMES, and everybody giggles. Within no time, you know how to do FLAMES too. And your sheer compulsiveness takes you to the last page of your textbook where you begin calculating your FLAMES with your secret crush, and then you’re doomed with this knowledge forever.
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4. (a+b)2 = a2 + b2 + 2ab
I know this and the area of triangle, square, cylinder, cube, cuboid, cone, sphere, and quadratic formula and other random algebraic formulas and simple interest and Venn diagrams and sets and… ahhh! Koi sense hai iss baat ki?
5. Leaves are green cos Chlorophyll.
Would this help me write my dissertation?
6. “In sooth, I know not why I am so sad, It wearies me; you say it wearies you…” I still remember melancholic Antonio and I relate with him hard. (Chill CBSE peeps, this one’s solely for my ICSE mates)
Our first introduction with Antonio was a glimpse of the future and we never realized… 🙂
7. Tipi tipi top, what colour do you want?
I want to forget this game.
8. Random trivia: William Shakespeare was born and died on the same date.
Or that Australia has more than 10000 beaches. Or that Shah Jahan has also been called as the architect king. Or some of those fun-facts at the back of Classmate pages. And other random information that’s stuck in our minds for no apparent reason.
9. I can still take out the LCM of multiple numbers…but nobody asks me to. 🙁
Don’t ask me about HCF!
10. I can still write an application to Principal, Municipal Corporation, RWA… but I still struggle to drop a proper mail to my editor without a typo.
Gmail was already a thing when I was studying all of this. But hum toh formal and informal letters hi likhte reh gaye!
11. Making random geometric angles using compass and protractor.
Set-Square’s contribution to the Geometry box was basically Kiara Advani’s character in Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2. Pointless!
12. Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Boron, Carbon…
I didn’t take Science in 11th but periodic table is on my tips. Par kyun?
13. I may not be great in Geography, but bish you ask me about different kinds of soil.
Or hand me India’s political map and see me do artwork like a pro.
Well, school really is unforgettable. Isn’t it?
Well, I hope this helps me lead a peaceful life. BUT, if you’re suddenly able to recall all these long-forlorn concepts because of me, ‘I’m sorry, I am not sorry!’
