Note: This is a work of sarcasm, no matter how weak you may consider it to be. So take it with a pinch of salt. 

All this environmentalist talk about not bursting crackers can be very frustrating. After all, this is the way we’ve been celebrating Diwali for centuries. Why stop now?

1. Crackers don’t affect animals. 

Fox 8

2. There is already so much pollution. How much worse would burning crackers make it?

India Today

3. Also, it doesn’t really physically hurt anyone. 


4. And the environment is not going anywhere. Fix kar lenge scientist log. 


5. Itna sutta maarte hain, our lungs are immune to this puny shit. 


6. Rozgaar milta hai patakhon se!

India Today

7. Arey ghanta noise pollution. Nobody cares about it. 

Times of India

8. If you are careful, you’ll never get injured during Diwali. 

India Today

9. The govt. anyway sprinkles water the next day to take care of the pollution. 

Times of India

10. Children love Diwali. Why should we stop them from bursting crackers?

Daily Pioneer

I say, buy more crackers. We’re all going to die someday, aren’t we?