The prolonged debate on whether or not menstruating women deserve paid period leaves has grown tiresome really. Especially when the answer is straight and simple and lurks in plain sight. Just in case somebody still needs a reality check, the answer is no. Women do not need period leaves. They do not need any special treatment during their menses. And, to be honest, they should have grown accustomed to their monthly biological cycle by now instead of relentlessly cribbing about something that — again — happens (or at least, should happen) to you every month.

So because, today, we are too free and desperately yearn for this unimportant conversation to end, we’ve decided ’tis the fateful day we pen down our unsolicited rage-baity meaningful hot-take. Ahh, too many big words!

First and foremost, let’s put things into real perspective here. It’s just periods and not a handicap. I mean, c’mon women, periods are integral to your existence. Your body is supposed to bleed every month for around 40 years of your lifetime so that you get to experience the blessing that childbirth is. AcCePt It AnD mOVe On. You’re already getting privileged treatment with Maternity leaves, now you want period leaves too?!

Consider yourself lucky that you can still give birth. Are you really debating against your existence? Your right to be treated equally? Isn’t this what all the woke feminists wanted in the first place? Listen, we don’t blame you, but it’s not the world’s headache that your biological sex is female. If anything, we should end all those meaningless maternity leaves as well.

Ahh, and don’t you get started on those cramps. We’ve heard enough about the days your body feels it wanna implode, like somebody is constantly stabbing you in your lower back, like they’ve put an enormous pile of bricks on your lower abdomen, and are adding on to it every second. Seriously, we’ve had enough. Our ears would bleed the next time you put the words ‘menstrual’ and ‘cramps’ in one sentence.

So what a reproductive health professor in London said that period cramps can be “almost as bad as having a heart attack”? You’re a woman, and don’t you have a high endurance power or something? And please, your pain is nothing in comparison to hellhole seconds that follow when somebody kicks a man between his legs, or they accidentally hurt themselves. Now, their pain isn’t monthly, but it should count no. You can’t keep playing that ‘woman card’ and dismiss a man’s pain.

Your menstruating years are a blessing – your motherhood license. You can keep birthing babies — something you were born for — up until menopause takes that luxury away from you. You can’t be possibly revolting against a blessing? Becoming a mother is your one AND ONLY duty in life, your life’s sole purpose. You know those lazy ass employees who don’t wanna work but expect a pay cheque at the end of every month? Yeah, that’s what you sound like when you complain about periods.

And, wait a second, some of you don’t even bleed every month. It’s literally an unannounced couple of days of excruciating pain and bleeding, with a few side effects here and there, like hair loss, hair growth, weight fluctuation, anxiety, and other sundry things. sO wHaT? aCcEpT iT aNd MoVe On. 

But if you still wanna rant about periods and your plight and your misfortune and all those monotonous things, we still offer one solution for you just so you can shut your mouth – get a hysterectomy. Seriously, get that uterus removed. No uterus, no problem. And if you don’t wanna do even that, then, there’s nothing really left apart from one thing – aCcEpT iT aNd MoVe On. 

If anything, people around you deserve a break when you’re menstruating. After all, they’re the ones who put up with your erratic behaviour when you’re PMSing that, by default, sets in a week before you actually get your period.

They hear your limitless complaints about your discomfort, your bloating, and other TMIs you so graciously voice. And ahh may heaven especially bless the souls who tolerate you on your first two days. Oh when periods are finally done, your girl math enters the chat. You start dreading the next cycle and alter all your plans according to your next date because of which we have to change our plans and align them with yours.

Basically – you complain when you’re on your period. You complain when you’re not getting them. You complain when you’re done with your period. When do the complains end? And now, on top of all this, you want leaves? We’re the actual sufferers here. Don’t you get it? You can’t gaslight us into believing your monthly cycle of downhill matters. Your pain means nothing to us. So just…you know what we’re gonna say…aCcEpT iT aNd MoVe On.   

Sincerely,

The World.