Winter>>>>>>>Summer. There. I said it. Now before you prepare to form a summer supremacy cult to attack me, hear me out. The fact that I am taking the pains of writing a whole article on this, is in itself, a factor. Summers are crap, winters are crap, monsoon is crap. BUT, the winter season is slightly less crappy than these extremities bent on killing the human race.

I won’t stop until you all agree with me.

I believe in winter supremacy, so allow myself to make my point.

1. The second deadliest thing on the earth doesn’t exist in winters: bugs and chhipkalis

(The first one being the maggi experimentation blasphemy.)

Did you know that the mere sight of a lizard contracts the human pupil by 53%? I personally don’t love to have my eyes shrunken in summers, because LIZARDS ARE FRICKIN’ EVERYWHERE. On the wall, in the closet, on my bed, in my sleeve. No. In winters, on the other hand, I can lead a peaceful life without having to worry that the slight tickle on my leg isn’t that 21st century dinosaur.

And mosquitoes. When half of my blood says bye-bye to me during my periods, the other half dries up in anxiety, why would I want a third thing that sucks my blood? And houseflies. Every fucking where. Winters for the win.

2. It’s a no-shave extravaganza for a whole season.

Tell me, which season gives you this supreme liberty? Forget about a knight in shining armour, as the winter season is ‘The One’ saviour. You can transform into a bushy cutie as hair growth has one motto: out of sight, out of mind. When we are covered in layers from head to toe, why go all the way to shave, or bear that PAIN of waxing? Furry babes are the best babes. And the credit goes to: winterrrrr.

And while I am all for supporting those who choose not to shave, no matter the month, I know summer sweat makes it impossible for me to keep myself hairy.

3. And a no-bra fest.

Hello Sweatshirts and oversized sweaters. Bye Bras. Name a thing better than not wearing a bra for a whole season. I’ll wait. 

4. Being cold is better than being hot.

What do you do when you feel cold? Just put on some extra layers, and you can scale any heights. But, what do you do when you feel hot? Absolutely nothing, because nothing works! Even if you strip yourself down to your underwear, it won’t help. Especially during power cuts, which anyone who has lived through Indian summers knows about. You can’t carry an AC or a cooler on your back. And no black magic is as evolved yet that can let you summon an ice fairy. Believe me, I tried. (At least, till I chickened out at the last moment, but it wasn’t working).So, you just melt in that scorching sun, while your flesh roasts on the high flame. 

While in winters, you can sit in the sun all day long, you can add/remove a layer according to the temperature and simply, it’s easier to warm up than cool down. 

5. Transport is more bearable in winters. 

Now that it’s winters, I bet you don’t remember the transport crisis in summers. Let me remind you. If you park your two-wheeler in the sun, the leather tries to take revenge by barbecuing your butt when you try to sit on it. Cars become a pre-heated oven, ready to bake you. And public transport, well, I’ll leave it up to your imagination. 

6. And the world becomes a better smelling place.

No, you wouldn’t want an explanation for that, would you? Sweat, food that goes bad quickly, and more rotten stuff. But come winters, and everything’s rosy, as nothing can rot when the world is a fridge, right?

7. Being on periods is more comfy.

Periods sucks, alright, but periods in winters suck a little less. You know, all wrapped up in blankets, getting hot soup and munching chocolates while eating gajar halwa is heaven in winters. But think about periods in summers. You want the hot water bottle for your wrestling uterus, but you need no HOT stuff anywhere near you. Now resolve the conflict. Also, the rashes by sanitary napkins leave me walking in a crooked pose. Zombie alert.

8. Nothing beats winter food.

Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, can beat winter delicacies. Hot n’ sour soups, gajar ka halwa, hot, chocolatey, gooey, brownies, pakoras: you name it. And chai, coffee and ice-cream taste10x tastier in winters.  

9. Winter fashion is all about elegance and feeling like a Londoner. 

Yeah, short dresses and sheer tops are chic and cool, but jo feel winter outfits dete hain, it’s out of the world. You can wear trench coats, turtleneck pullovers, scarves and mufflers, Chelsea boots and uggs, and get poore Kate Middleton, royalty feels. AND most importantly, LAYERING can be done without feeling like an Eskimo in Sahara (courtesy summers). 

10. We have the perfect excuse to not work out.

Today is too cold, I can’t go out jogging: what if I come down with fever? Look, it snowed/hailed/rained: too icy and slippery and risky to go out. You can come up with 1001 excuses and no one will bat an eyelid. Mornings and evenings of January are so cold, I will exercise at 5pm, but then I am at work…

11. Sleeping is jannat in winters. 

Sleeping is love <3, but sleeping is winters is LOVE <3<3. Cuddled in blankets, being all warm and cozy, and snugly hugging the bed: winter sleep is paradise. While in summers, if you can get past the ‘this pillow side is hot‘ phase, you’re a legend. 

12. You can plan that tropical holiday.

And you have the perfect reason to go for a tropical holiday. Goa, here I come! After the pandemic, of course. 

13. No sweat. Period. 

I can’t reiterate this enough. 

Lastly, my editor didn’t believe in my claim, and hence she let me write this article to convince her. And so, by its mere existence, winter did good to me at my workspace.

Hence proved.