Nobody:

ScoopWhoop: Honest resume of zodiacs be like-

1. HIGH AUNTY!

2. Kal bhej doonga CV, yaar.

3. Pro Tip: Geminis ko aise hi reject kar dein.

4. Likely hired for work from home.

5. I am a Leo. Deal with it.

6. Virgos and their god complex.

7. Can't decide what to write here.

8. How's the view from that high-horse of yours?

9. Aaj ye kar ke aaya.

10. Capricorn: Hey, I...
HR: HIRED!

11. 'A-curious' case.

12. No, I am not crying. I have s(pisces) in my eye.

Design credits - Lucky Mehendiratta & Nupur Agrawal.