In a surprising and very disappointing judgement, the Supreme Court of India has upheld Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code and criminalized homosexuality in India. Understandably, a lot of people from the LGBT community are less than excited to have their human rights thrown under the bus.
But the true test of optimism is to see opportunity where others see despair. Now that the Supreme Court is on a roll, we should quickly file a bunch of PILs and get some, if not all of these things termed illegal.
1. Peeing in the open.
What if another male sees the offender&rsquos leak machine? He’ll start having homosexual thoughts!
2. Farting in public transport.
Along with being a public health hazard, the act has been known to attract homosexuals.
3. Chewing with your mouth open.
It is a very perverted thing to do, as it shows the contents of your mouth to prying eyes. Of homosexuals.
4. Cutting in lines.
This habit is very annoying. It can also be misconstrued as a homosexual gesture, which could land you in jail.
5. Picking your nose.
A famous mating signal for homosexuals, this is also very &ldquoicky.&rdquo This should definitely be illegal.
6. Honking like a maniac in traffic.
This is very annoying. And so are homosexuals.
7. Any product with more than 3 colours in its packaging.
Homosexuals have a very high affinity for multi-coloured objects. These have to be banned.
The act of photographing oneself using one&rsquos own camera while making a face similar to a duck is a sure-fire way to attract preying homosexuals on the internet.
9. Talking loudly on the phone.
Talking loudly on the phone disturbs people around you and renders you unaware of potential homosexual attacks.
10. Being rude to waiters.
Even waiters are human beings. They deserve respect, unlike homosexuals.
11. Being a bigot.
Because if in a society plagued by corruption, murder and horrific crimes against women, the thing that enrages you the most is a person’s choice in love, then you DESERVE to be in jail.
Live and let love.