Nicknames are usually a simple affair in our country. Akshay is called Akki. Preeti is called Pri. Mandeep becomes Mandy. Like I said, it’s normally a straightforward matter. Unless you’re a Bengali. Trust me, I know. We take pride in our nicknames, or Daaknaam, because our parents and our grandparents give it to us after much thought and discussion. The only problem however is that when we reveal our names to the rest of India, we are met with quizzical puzzled faces and frankly very strange reactions. Because our nicknames aren’t like your nicknames. Bong nicknames are…different. If you have a bong friend, ask them & they’ll tell you. And your reaction isn’t going to be a normal one either. Here are 25 popular bong nicknames and the reactions the rest of India give on hearing them:

1. Your nickname: Tutul

How people react: ”Is that bong for turtle or something?”

And you go like:

2.Your nickname: Kaanu

How people react: ”I think I’ll call you Kaanu Reeves from today.”

And you go like:

3. Your nickname: Baby Bhutaan/Bhutan

How people react: ”But I thought you were from Bengal??”

And you go like:

4. Your nickname: Chhoton

How people react: ”So basically your nickname is Chhotu?”

And you go like:

5. Your nickname: Gulgul

How people react: ”That’s like Gul Panag marrying Umar Gul! LOL!”

And you go like:

6. Your name: Bhombol

How people react: ”Oh like that Taare Zameen Par song?”

And you go like:

7. Your nickname: Bhondu

How people react: ”Hahahahahahahahaha! Arrey Bhondu!”

And you go like:

8. Your nickname: Motka

How people react: You must have been quite fat as a kid no?

And you go like:

9. Your nickname: Piklu

How people react: ”Did you fall into a jar of pickle when you were a baby?”

And you go like:

10. Your nickname: Jumbo

How people react: Like the elephant?

And you go like:

11. Your nickname: Pimpim

How people react: Pimpim ain’t easy!

And you go like:

12. Your nickname: Mummai

You’re not serious, are you?

And you go like:

13. Your nickname: Papai

How people react: Is that spelled like papayas?

And you go like:

14. Your nickname: Buri

How people react: Isn’t that like kind of negative?

And you go like:

15. Your nickname: Puchki

How people react: Isn’t that some kind of sweet dish?

And you go like:

16. Your nickname: Caesar

How people react: Tere bhai ka naam kya hai? Brutus?

And you go like:

17. Your nickname: Babai

How people react: Does that mean what I think it means?

And you go like:

18. Your nickname: Aloo

How people react: Hahahahah! Aloo, paratha hai kya?

And you go like:

19. Your nickname: Atom

How people react: Your family must be totally into science and stuff, right?

And you go like:

20. Your nickname: Tablet

How people react: No freaking way! You’re totally making that up, aren’t you?

And you go like:

21. Your nickname: Tiklu

How people react: Like taklu?

And you go like:

22. Your nickname: Tata

How people react: Oh, are you related to Ratan Tata?

And you go like:

23. Your nickname: Boltu

How people react: Any chance you’re related to Ussain Bolt?

And you go like:

24. Your nickname: Khoka

How people react: That sounds South African. Are you sure?

And you go like:

25. Your nickname: Laltu

How people react: Like faltu?

And you go like: