Life throws a lot of bouncers at us. We can choose to get bogged down by them or… confuse the crap out of life by doing a bunch of counter-intuitive things that life wouldn’t expect us to do when we’re down and out.
1. The more adversity you face, the goofier you should get.
Life will be like, what the hell is going on, did I press the wrong button or something?
2. If someone is mean to you, as far as you can, be polite to them.
Nothing pisses mean people off more than when their carefully constructed insults show no results.
3. If you get jilted in love, do your hurting, make peace with it and move on as soon as you can.
Life will soon send someone else along to hug/annoy you.
4. If your friends let you down, don’t let them down in turn.
They’ll either become better friends, or you’ll get rid of people who weren’t your friends anyway.
5. If someone does you wrong, forgive very quickly and don’t hold grudges.
Blood pressure and diabetes be like, “Wah…?”
6. If someone tries to put you down in front of others, put yourself down in front of others.
Insult will turn to humility. Voila!
7. Instead of cribbing about the stuff you don’t have, be thankful about the stuff you do have.
From being the poorest, sorriest sod in the world, you go to the luckiest mother-f***er on the planet.
8. Even when no one follows the rules, you should try.
The next time you see a couple of douchebags jump a red light, stop your car. Who knows, a couple of other people might go, “Hey, maybe we should do that too.”
9. When someone screws you over or tries to, don’t try to get back at them. Because they just did you a favour.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Remember, Karma is a bitch. A really vengeful bitch. Just let her do the dirty work.
10. Always keep smiling.
It is super confusing and nowadays, totally un-natural. If you can do this, then you have successfully trolled life.