In three months from now, I will turn 24 and it is freaking the hell out of me. As much as I force myself to think that it will be just another year for me, I know that it is far from true. I am sure that turning 24 is a big deal everywhere, but the country I am in has made it all the more difficult for me.
Before this starts sounding like a rant, let me tell you why turning 24 for me, a woman living in India, is not easy:
1. I am neither in the below 23 ‘cool’ age group, nor in the above 25 ‘responsible’ one. This feeling of being caught in-between is not fun at all.
2. The ‘grown up world’ is scary and I feel I am not ready for it yet.
3. I have a job, but a promising career? Not so sure.
4. Half my friends are married already and the other half are set to tie the knot this year.
5. One of them even has a baby and would you believe that woman is younger than me!
The thought of having another human inside me is just so scary!
6. If that wasn’t enough, my neighbour’s weird daughter just got engaged to a super-talented, tall, dark and handsome guy.
I am no less weird, but she eats chocolate with salt. Yes, salt!
7. And here I am, hopelessly single, still figuring out how relationships work.
And the only thing I have figured out so far is that I suck at them.
8. The cute guys are all too young for me, and the hot ones are too old.
9. I have loved and lost and can’t afford to do it again.
10. ‘Society’ wants me to do a lot of things – get married, pump out babies and be a ‘good girl’, and the pressure is killing me.
11. I am nowhere close to my dream body weight.
12. If I invite friends over for meal that I cooked, they’ll never visit me again.
13. I just can’t seem to save up no matter how hard I try.
14. And the bills are never ending.
15. Before I realised it, I was already knee-deep in debt!
16. I have no clue what happened to the ‘friends’ I had a year ago.
17. Talking about friends, I still can’t stop obsessing over the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S like some college kid.
18. I am getting wrinkles. Yes, wrinkles! Wow. Am I really ageing!?
19. My body is not half as active as it was when I was 18.
20. The kids today are too smart for me and here I am, trying to make sense of this complicated life.
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21. I have not travelled to even half the places on my checklist.
22. My room is a mess. It has been like this for 23 years. When will I ever become responsible?
23. I haven’t done anything for my country, or even my neighbourhood.
24. For that matter, I am yet to do anything for my parents and grandparents.
25. I don’t understand a thing about taxes and hate to part with some of my salary every month because of this.
26. I can’t depend on my parents for money anymore.
27. I still can’t decide whether I should go with white and golden or blue and black.
28. I am nowhere close to ‘the plan.’
Like I said, I am turning 24 soon and it’s scaring the living daylights out of me. Every time I think about it, I panic.
But then again, I suppose that’s how things work. Like they say, life is a lesson, you learn when you live. And things have gone pretty smoothly for these 23 years so I am guessing that will continue.
And as much as it scares me, the anticipation makes it thrilling. In a weird way, it is exciting to wonder what the future holds for me.
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