Everyone who’s ever given a job interview has experienced the crippling fear of giving a wrong answer or of sounding unprofessional. There is however, a difference between being wrong and being totally messed up! There’s a few lines you don’t cross at an interview and from the stories I hear, it seems a lot of people could do with the help of A job interview Bible. Here’s some stuff that you should keep to yourself if you’re ever given a job interview.
1. Interviewer: “What’s your biggest weakness?”
“That I work too hard.”
Holy shit dude, this didn’t even work in the 1800s.
2. ” Office mein smoking room hai kya? Nai ? What yaar …”
3. ” So, salary kab badhegi ?”
Asking this 2 minutes into the interview is the equivalent of kissing a donkey on the mouth – pointless.
4. Interviewer : “How much are you expecting?”
“Hmm… a ap kitna kamaate ho ?”
5. Interviewer : “So why do you think we should hire you?”
“Well, I know I’m much better than the monkeys that are working for you right now!”
6. “How long is the lunch break?”
This is a job, not a classroom bro.
7. “Do I need to pass a drug test to work here?”
Busted!
8. Interviewer : “Why did you leave your previous job?”
” I just wanted to take it easy yo.”
Very reassuring.
9. “Working overtime? What’s that?”
Wow, you can probably eat a whole apple at one go because that’s a BIG MOUTH!
10. “I am just not a team person.”
So what exactly are you? The Lone Ranger? The Dark Knight?
11. “What is success to you?”
“Money, women and power!”
None of which you’re ever gonna have…
12. “Okay so I can start on Monday but I HAVE to take leave on Tuesday… it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.”
Sure bro, you don’t need to ask me. Because you ain’t getting hired here.
13. “Oh and what’s the vacation scene? At least a month for summer break I hope?”
Have fun. Goodbye.
14. “So work starts by 10…”
“Actually that’s when I wake up so maybe I can make it by 12?”
Please go back to sleep, because you don’t have a job.
15. “Why do you want to work with us?”
“I dunno… a friend said it was easy…”
Newsflash! Your friend’s a turd!
Next time, pop a Red Bull before you hit that interview, might clear out a few things.
