You don’t meet mallus , they HAPPEN to you!
They’re everywhere. In your office, in your locality, in your college. They say that a mallu might even be there on Mars. You can run, you can hide, but there’s no escaping them. Which is not a bad thing because mallus make for really awesome company. Here are 16 reasons why:
1. Unlimited supply of banana chips.
2. The best advisers for buying gold.
Because they louuuuuve gold.
3. You don’t have to worry about booze. Ever!
Even on dry days.
4. And once the booze kicks in… It’s entertainment, entertainment, entertainment.
5. They know a lot of ‘nerses’ (nurses).
Which means you get a lot of free medical checkups.
6. ‘Samoosa, Jilebi, Ledu.’ Their pronunciation keeps you in splits.
And because they are your friends, they laugh along.
7. You get free imported perfumes and dates from the ‘Gelf’ (Gulf).
Because there’s always someone from their family there.
8. You thank your parents for not experimenting with your name.
Some of their names are ‘ZIMBLY’ hilarious.
9. On your next holiday to Kerala, you have a place to crash.
10. The ultimate ‘jugadoos’ . Because everyone knows everyone.
A mallu can connect you with ANY other mallu in the world. Because one knows the other and the other knows another. A highly complicated interconnected mesh.
11. ‘Poda patti, polaya#$%@&.’ You finally know what these ‘gaalis’ mean.
12. Onam or Christmas, the platter is always sumptous.
13. You get to see all the awesome originals before Bollywood remakes them.
14. No depending on IRCTC. They know all trains going to South India by heart.
Konkan, Swarnajayanti or Kerala Express. They have all the schedules memorised.
15. Every occasion has atleast one non-veg ‘item’.
Weddings, housewarmings, birthdays and even Sundays.
16. They teach you that you can survive anywhere.
The fact that you can find a mallu in every state in this country and also every country on the planet goes to prove that they fight against all odds and survive anything/anywhere.