As India continues to mull over legalising prostitution, the whopping $8.4 billion industry in the country continues to thrive. While the government hesitates about making this critical decision, conversation about the profession is the only way forward.
What is important is to talk about the industry, its loopholes for the workers while it remains criminalised, and establish it as what it has always been – just another profession that some people choose to follow.
In this regard, we bring to you an honest conversation right from the heart of a former call girl, now a law graduate. The 27-year-old organised an AMA (ask me anything) on Reddit and her answers are as honest as can be. Here are excerpts:
What drove you to become a sex worker? Do you regret anything?
I started when I was 18. I was young, incredibly experimental sexually and actually enjoyed meeting different men in that way. I don’t regret anything, it’s made me who I am today – although I probably wouldn’t go back to it in a hurry.
Did you actually enjoy being with any of the men?
I did. A lot of them were incredible partners.
Was there ever the one client who just wanted to talk and paid you for the company?
There was, actually. He just loved a cuddle and a chat, he was a very sweet, lonely man.
What was the strangest fetish you came across?
One fairly unique individual loved it when beautiful nude women in stiletto heels crunched and squashed snails with the heel of their shoe.
Did you make heaps of money?
On a busy night, I’d make over $2000. One week I made over $9000. No seriously, I put a deposit down on a condo and bought a car in my first 6 months.
And how much did you have to give to your agency?
Out of $500, they’d keep $150. They provide the bookings, security and the network.
How often did you check yourself for STDs? Did you ever “fall” for any of your clients?
I checked myself once a month with a blood, urine and swab test. I have never been nor am I currently infected with anything. I checked every client for STD’s. Plenty failed! The majority had thrush and herpes. The strangest one I failed was a man with silicone injected into his penis shaft, it looked like he had spider-eggs under his skin (instant nightmares)
Did you ever get females as clients? Is it common or not really accepted?
I haven’t had direct female clients myself, although I was introduced to a lesbian couple once that chose another girl. My female encounters were with partners, and it certainly was a relief. In that situation I was always careful not to pay too much attention to the guy in case the girl became jealous. Plus, exploring a woman’s body is fun 🙂
Did your family find out?
My parents never found out about me, although my sister did and that was bad enough. One of the reasons I stopped. She found a box of matches in my bag with the agency printed on the back. She had a clue, as I had been able to do obviously afford things I couldn’t before. No amount of ‘I work at the bar’ covered that up, and I’ve never been able to forget the tears in her eyes (one of the reasons I quit, this happened maybe a few weeks before I stopped).
How would you react if your daughter said she wanted to be a prostitute?
I’d never want her to, that’s for sure. I’d go through all the possibilities of contracting a disease, developing a drug habit, being involved with the wrong kind of people. I’d advise her of all the mental scarring, and how difficult it was (and still is at times) to overcome. I’d advise her she can never be proud of what she does, that she has to lie constantly and be wary of people finding out.
If she was even considering going ahead with this, I’d like to know as a parent I’ve done all I can to ensure she didn’t end up doing it. It’s not exactly something that I’m proud of! I’d also advise her that I’ll be there to support her no matter what, but I’d be very disappointed.
Has this caused issues with having a relationship in general?
I wouldn’t say it’s cause any relationship issues. If anything, I appreciate men a lot more for who they are, and can read them a lot better.I can definitely read people in general a lot better.
How many people (rough estimate) have you had sex with in your entire career?
Wow. A rough calculation? An average of 6 guys a night, 2 nights a week for 3 years. 1872, if I’m not mistaken. That’s terrible.
How did doing the work you did affect your sex life today?
To be honest? I am struggling to really enjoy sex in the ‘real world’. As a sex worker, inhibitions just get thrown out the window. Exploration, games, most things you can think of are a possibility. I often fantasise over women, and sexual toys.
Do you think that on the whole it changed you as an individual?
It has opened my eyes, sexually but also on a more personal level. I can safely say I’ve found a peace with who I am. I’m no different to the next person, just because I may enjoy certain things doesn’t mean someone hasn’t already fantasised it.
Do you think your (future) partner has the right to know -upfront- about this aspect of your past?
Yes they do, however whether they will accept what they hear is a different story.
The one guy I dated during my 3 year stint found out. He told all of his friends, they harassed me, abused me and even threatened me. I’m kind of scarred, so unless it was really necessary, I wouldn’t say anything. Who I am now and who I’m going to be is far more important.
Would you ever go back if you’d need some quick cash?
Not at all. I was in a different head space when I started, and just kept doing it because it became a lifestyle. I’m so much happier within myself now that I’m doing something to be proud of. If I needed quick cash? I’d probably save or borrow the money and pay it back.
Was it hard to “get out?”
Getting out was definitely tough. Struggled to become accustomed to a normal wage, my weight ballooned and I just became depressed. Getting over all that and maturing has been tough, but so worth it.