‘The happy-single’ ‘ Me, myself and I’ ‘Going solo, going strong’ ‘Too cool to date’ ‘ In a relationship with myself’
God! The many things we say to show the world how happy and in love we are with ourselves. Who has the time to actually figure out how screwed up we really are, right? Amidst the lust for our dream jobs, our careers, our ‘private plans’, we’ve forgotten how to love. And I’m afraid it’s not a good sign.
Some things are in our control. Like we have the option to actually use our heads and figure out what’s cool for us and what’s not. How about we don’t misunderstand this piece and find out where we’re going wrong? Do we really love ourselves or are simply creating an illusion of it? Here are the things we’re actually doing to screw it all up:
1. ‘Love is a waste of time. Love is boring.’ Our bunch has better things to do.
We have our ambitions to fulfil, our goals to achieve. We’re preoccupied and over-occupied on most days. Who has the time to fall in love?
2. ‘Single is fun’ has become a cliche, and we’re okay with it.
We’re ‘available’ so to say, but are we really? We’re simply hiding behind the every day labels of ‘love sucks’ and ‘riding solo’, because it seems so cool.
3. We’re in a pseudo I-love-myself relationship with ourselves.
Deep down, we don’t have a clue about what self-love really is. We only think we know it and are happy with ourselves. In reality, we probably don’t even know ourselves properly.
4. In fact, our material love for all the fancy things we own and adore is now defining self-love.
How, I haven’t a clue! We spend all our time with our phones and our laptops and then we say we have no time for the person who might be the one? Why?
5. We fancy our lazy-self.
We’d just rather be than be in love. Who wants to go through the pain of sorting out the complications and making it work? Too much effort. We don’t want to burst our happy lazy-bubble.
6. We’re going with the ‘can’t talk, ego only’ attitude. Love is naturally taking the backseat.
We no longer want to express ourselves. We only want to say the things that are socially cool. Even if we don’t agree with it.
7. We’re busy creating filters and finding faults in others. We have too many options and we don’t want to introspect.
Because if we look within, we might face the truth. Which, like they say, is ugly.
8. We never drop the veil of our insecurities.
Why are we so scared? Why are we so afraid of the labels, of what others might think of us?
9. We’re full of ourselves and well, excuses.
“I can’t do this. I have a life.” What life, if I may ask? Packed with whims and fancies of the world that you probably wouldn’t even care about after a point?
10. We want to “keep it real!” and not let anything/anyone mess with our ‘I don’t give a fuck’ jam!
We are busy creating illusions of love… the kind that only looks good, but is hollow from the inside. The kind where we fool around and move on. When did this become the real picture?
11. We basically want love, but don’t want to give in our all, or get too involved.
“Oh shit! Am I in love? No way! I can’t be. I have to take it slow. I can’t be this person. This is maddening.” 2 months later: “I wish I had done something about my feelings.” This never ends. But our belief in love does.
In reality, all we really need is love. But we love to sulk alone behind a pretentious I-am-happy-all-alone face.
So, here’s a suggestion: Stop fighting love. Fall in love, instead.
Don’t force it. But, don’t fight it either. Life is too short to have trust issues, apprehensions and old-times’ baggage.
Give it your all if you must. Don’t hide behind wrong notions of self love. If you really love yourself, you’d want to be happy, for yourself. And if being with that person does so, why can’t you go for it?