Here’s a list we made for you.

1. Maggi

Every one from lazy parents to hostel kids to busy meal-for-one type people knows the importance of Maggi. It’s the one thing that enables you to say ‘yes’ to your mom when she calls you and asks – beta, khana kha liya? – without feeling guilty. Excess lead? Pfft. Most of us don’t care.

2. Tatkal Troubles

If there’s one thing that can increase the average blood pressure of Indians every morning, it’s the frustration that comes with booking a Tatkal ticket from the IRCTC site. Yes, they’ve changed the timings for AC and non-AC booking, apparently barred agents from booking for the first 30 minutes of the opening window and whatnot, but because there are so many of us trying to book tickets, the game will always seem rigged against us.

3. Cricket Matches Against Pakistan

Some of us might not be too nationalistic, some of us might have lost interest in cricket now that the Sachin-Sourav-Rahul trifecta has retired, and there are some of us who don’t even dislike Pakistan like some other people do – but to hell with all of that when it comes to a India-Pakistan cricket match. Every time our batsmen hit a boundary or our bowlers take a wickets of theirs, there’s an energy in every cricket watching room in our country that you cannot during any other match.

4. Porn Ban

Yes, it’s a little weird to say that a ban on porn sites unites a nation, but that’s exactly what happened. Not everyone watches porn, but that doesn’t mean those who do should have their entertainment snatched away by the state. Nope, we won’t stand for it. Dear state, if you make our hands idle for too long, you never know when they’ll turn into fists. Just saying.

5. Price of Onions

Do you watch sad videos online just to remind yourself of onions you can’t afford anymore? Okay, maybe not everyone is weird like that, but you have to admit, every time the onion price spikes, it hurts.

6. Long Queues

Being a densely populated country, India is not a place where you can escape queues. But that’s okay – I mean there’s some sort of justice there. And in a country where people are divided on so many lines, queues are a great equalizer. Even if the most popular person around tries to cut a line, he’d be so hated… it’s *sniff* beautiful.

7. Adjusting in seats

Anyone who wants to experience the ‘real’ India, needs to take a ride in a general class coach here. The way we manage to stuff ourselves in every nook and corner, says a lot about our ability to ‘adjust’. Love it or hate it, it is what it is.

8. Festivals

The sun rises in the east. Milk is white. You get the best sewain during Eid and the best pitha during Bihu. Yep, to hell with the ‘religious divide’, Indian festivals give us a chance to gorge on some of the best food that was ever invented. So show the middle finger to the zealots and enjoy every festival that comes your way.

9. Chai-Sutta-Pakoda

Some of the most creative ideas, the most animated rant sessions and the most productive meetings have happened over chai-sutta-pakoda breaks. Whether you’re a student choosing a canteen ‘chill out’ session over an organic chemistry class or an office grunt, the chai-sutta combo is unbeatable.

10. Bhangra

I don’t know how to dance. But when the need arises, I can do my own interpretation of bhangra to not be seen as the lone tree on the dance floor. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Bhangra has rescued many non-dancing Indians from embarrassing moments.

11. Cut off marks

You might have been a really studious, hard-working kid in school, and you might have set your eyes on a career in a particular field throughout your school life, but the moment the cut off marks bomb drops on you, you find yourself having to conjure up a plan B. Most Indians know how that feels and to be honest, it’s usually not a bad thing. There’s a whole world of new things out there.

12. Golgappe

Golgappe , Paani puri , fuchka – doesn’t matter what we call it, we love it, despite the whole hygiene issue. Legend has it, unless the vendor dips his fingers into the paani , you don’t get the real taste. And yes, if you don’t ask for extra paani at the end, we can’t be friends.

13. Torrents

There’s a moment in almost everyone’s life when they discover the magical world of torrent downloads and they ask themselves – “why didn’t I discover this earlier?” And as Indians, we love the Internet for giving us a chance to watch things for free. No wonder we know the most random details from even the shittiest of films. We watch EVERYTHING.

14. Weddings

Yes, we may have different opinions about marriage, the need for it or its uselessness, who to marry, when to marry and whatnot. But the one thing we can all agree is weddings are fun. Especially when its not your own. We all have different reasons for loving weddings. What I like best is that I can eat as much as I like, without paying for anything.

15. Kishore Kumar Songs

If you were born before the mid-nineties, chances are you grew up in a house where there was at least one ‘greatest hits of Kishore Kumar’ cassette. That guy had magic in his voice, and every Indian, no matter where he or she is right now, when in the mood can easily hum a whole list of Kishore da songs without being asked twice.

16. Terrorism

We Indians may have different political and ideological agendas, but when someone from the outside comes and attacks us, you’ll never see anyone supporting the act. You attack one of us, you have to deal with the rest of us.

17. Racism

I know it’s sad, but we can’t ignore the fact that we are one of the most racist nations in the world. They way we worship the white foreigner, and shun the dark skinned one; how we call every person from south India a madrasi , or most people from the north-east c hinki , it says a lot about us and the ignorance we live with. But if one Indian guy gets racially abused in some other country, suddenly we are all hurling abuses online against the entire nation where it happened. Yes, race is a huge issue, and sensitivity is a two-way street.

18. Achievements of NRIs

Indians abroad have made some great achievements and they fame they’re getting for it now, they deserve it. But every once in a while, we Indians go overboard by trying appropriate the success of these people, as a matter of national pride. Many people leave the country because of a serious lack of innovative thinking and research in their respective fields. That is not something worth celebrating. On a slightly related note, does anybody else remember the whole ” Micheal Owen is actually Indian ” thing?

I guess we are what we are. Tautology FTW!