This poem is an original composition by the author. Reproduction or commercial use is prohibited without the writer’s express permission.

I want to feel free.

I want to take that stupid corporate identity card strung around my neck,

chuck it into the gutter and walk out of my damn office.

I want to take a long sabbatical and not be judged for it.

I want to stop scrolling for a while.

I want to log out of Facebook and not give a damn that a website won’t remind me about the birthdays of my friends I don’t bother to remember anyway.

I want to delete my Twitter account and stop that nonsensical one-upmanship of jibes and jokes and rabble rousing.

I want to take my phone and shove it into a vat of hot chocolate and say “Screw you, you Candy Crush enabling piece of shit!”

And after that, I will eat every last piece of that chocolate and love every moment of it.

I want to follow my dreams.

I want to do whatever the hell I want.

I’ll become a sail boat captain. I’ll go teach orphaned children. I’ll buy a pack of crayons and doodle on a big ass piece of chart paper.


I will go get a block of stone, a chisel and a hammer, carve out the shittiest sculpture the world has ever seen and make my friends clap for it.

Because it’ll make me feel happy.

I want to travel.

I want to go to the most secluded place I can find nearby and sit there for hours.

Once I’m there, I want to do nothing but let the wind caress my “ugly” face that all the commercials on T.V say should be “fair and pimple free and perfectly toned.”

And away from all that consumerist bullshit, let nature tell me, “You silly bastard, you’re fine just the way you are. I made you this way.”


I want to go on an adventure every month.

I want to climb Mt. Everest. And then brag about it to the next douchebag who shoves an iPhone 56 into my face and see him try to top that.

I want to bungee jump from somewhere really high and dangerous and feel the adrenaline rush as I scream out all the air in my lungs.


I want to scuba dive in the Andamans because I can’t afford to go the Great Barrier Reef.

And there, I’ll high-five a fish. Because I fricking feel like it.


I want to get to know my family better.

I want to sit down with my Dad and ask him about what he did in College.

His biggest achievements and his biggest disappointments.

Hopefully, I’ll be counted in the former.

I want to thank my Mum and hug her. Every single day.

And ask her to kiss me on the cheek because I need her love.

Because nothing else in the world can make me feel as special or as wanted.


I want to live my life.

For the precise reason that it is mine to live.

You do not own it. You cannot claim it. And I will not let you dictate it.

I am going to fill it with love, travel and the search for myself.

And that is all that matters.


-Suparn Pandey