Have you ever felt that the Internet is full of generic 20-something posts that tell stories of unrealized dreams and unrequited crushes? Lists that are supposed to make us think and have life-changing epiphanies? You see one, you’ve seen them all. But then again, we rarely wake up one day and suddenly notice wild, life-altering changes in ourselves; being in your twenties necessarily does not mean you have to wallow around in self-pity over your quarter-life crisis, sobbing in the shower while clutching at your knees. The countless unimportant things one worries about in these lists aside, here are 12 things I wish the Internet preached more about to our young impressionable generation.  

  1. Save money, and buy clothes at clearance sales.  

 There’s a certain joy in buying stuff at 60% off retail at a high fashion brand that no amount of stockpiling at a regular store can ever match up to.  

 2. Being the drunkest person is not funny, cute or something to be proud of.  

College is over and so is my period of perpetual inebriation and cheap rum in plastic bottles.

 3. Exercise more.  

There’s no better feeling than someone looking at you, and telling you that you look great, and you give them the ‘Oh-really-I-haven’t-been-doing-anything-special’ routine (especially when you have been starving yourself to death and hitting the gym like a maniac).

  4. Speaking to new people is easy.  

 You aren’t as boring as you think you might be. If we all were the people who we thought we were, then this world would be full of ostriches.  

  5. Never grow out hair beyond the stipulated 4 week period.  

 The result does not look very appealing, even with two filters of Instagram.  

  6. There never really is only the One    .  

 There’s a Two, a Three and a Four, and probably more. It will work out with some of them, and sometimes it will not.  

  7. Spking lyk dis will nvr b cool    .  

 Lyk neva eva! So please don’t even try. You had me at hello, but ‘you lost me at the second ‘i’ in Hii’.  

 8. Facebook-stalking people is usually not a very good idea.  

Sifting through someone’s filtered social lives of exotic holiday albums, airbrushed pictures and overwhelming life milestones can be downright depressing. But then again, if you really want to, you will always find that one bad picture in the dark recesses of 2007. 2007 is this big black hole of fugly for most people, and it never disappoints.

  9. Eat Healthy.  

Avocado is a really tasty vegetable, or is it a fruit? Or a tuber? Heck, it’s so healthy and delicious that I won’t be surprised if it turns out to be Superman.

  10. Don’t Unfriend, but you may Unsubscribe.  

 Have an annoying friend who bemoans every excruciating detail of his love life, or writes teary-eyed taunts to his ex? Don’t like someone’s selfie face? Saves a lot of awkward pauses from later, and conversations that either end or begin with ‘Shut-Up-How-Did-We-Get-Off-Each-Other’s-Facebook-Lists?’  

  11. There’s never really too much work, just like there’’ never really too much money.  

 Too much work will only lead to too much money, and that sounds like a fair deal when you are chugging down expensive whiskey. Taxes applicable..  

  12. Save up.  

 It’s really very easy to give up on the pleasures of life. And a social life. Sometimes reading a book and binge-watching television on a Saturday Night is so feasible. FOMO, I’ll pass on you tonight, thank you very much. Like they say, No is the new Yes.