Yes, we want to be loved but how about you understand us a little too? There are several things we want you to know. For instance, killing our individuality in the name of love is not love. That’s just totally unacceptable. We want more. We do more. We are more!
“Women are meant to be loved, not understood!” – Oscar Wilde.
So, men listen up! Here are 31 things you need to know and understand!
1. We’re more than just “women”.
Step one: Stop treating us like species of a kind very different from you. We’re not. Biology divides us, but humanity can unite us!
2. Our strength lies within us. Not with a protective father/brother/boyfriend/husband.
The only reason we HAVE to ask you to come with us on a late-night is because of some crazy ass**** this society created. And not all of us blame all of you!
3. Compliment us on our individual qualities without generalizing.
It’s easy to pick onto general standards of beauty that our society wants you to pick. Everybody, including men, has pretty eyes, beautiful hair and what not. Look beyond it.
4. Kindly stop using words like delicate, soft and fragile to describe us!
Okay, we’re not made of steel or titanium but then again, neither are you!
5. You will respect women if you respect people.
We wouldn’t need a “respect women” slogan if you just respect people in general. Let us take this forward for the greater gender good.
6. We don’t want to be a “good” girl/girlfriend/wife!
Let’s do away with this word and its accompanying role for a change. How about “She’s a human being and I accept her the way she is!” ?
7. We’re NOT “easy” just because we asked you out first!
“Oh! She’s the man in the relationship.” No, she’s not. She’s a human being who took the first step! Simple.
8. We like sex and can be equally promiscuous.
We enjoy sex! And when we don’t get it, we masturbate, just like you! See, we’re the same, aren’t we?
9. Our emotional highs and lows have many reasons and not just PMS.
Cut us some slack, please! We understand you have emotional issues too and it’s absolutely okay. But do we label you?
10. You don’t have to “be a man” for us.
Be yourself, please!
11. Say the word “Vagina” when you must!
You don’t hesitate when it comes to saying “dick” or “penis”. Then why now? It’s really not a big deal.
12. When your guy-friend cries, kindly don’t label him a “girl”.
“Kya ladkion ki tarah ro raha hai?” This needs to stop! “Girl” is not an insult and definitely not a sign of weakness. Crying isn’t either.
13. Do not call us a “Tomboy” just because we like and do things you do!
If I like to gulp pegs of Old Monk, swear unnecessarily after a drunken fight or enjoy football/beer nights, it doesn’t make me a tomboy!
14. Some of us really don’t care about clothes, bags and shoes other women carry. Or the ones we carry.
15. We have the right to not wear bras in public without being called “inviting”!
It’s itchy, annoying and feels like a cage. If you’re willing to accept this and not stare at our breasts for no reason, we’re willing to go no bra all the damn time!
16. Some of us are not “nurturing”, “caring” or “loving”!
So don’t judge us for being ourselves. There’s nothing wrong in being caring and nurturing but if we’re not then we’re not! We’re imperfect beings just like you. How about that?
17. Not all of us like pink or teddy bears or hearts!
Please try to know us and our preferences before generalizing.
18. A ‘No’ means a ‘No’. Always and for everyone.
It doesn’t mean you try harder. And it definitely doesn’t mean we’re mean or stubborn. It’s only a matter of choice. We respect your negations, you should respect ours.
19. We can be ‘just good friends’, you know.
It shouldn’t be misunderstood or misread.
20. We like paying bills, buying you gifts and taking you out for dinner too!
It’s true. Some of us love spending on people we love. It’s normal.
21. We get friend-zoned too!
22. Not all of us know how to cook or want to cook.
And it’s a matter of choice.
23. Don’t judge us by the clothes we wear.
Short skirt: Not inviting. Salwaar suit: Not religious. Saree: Not a saint.
24. Jealousy and envy are human traits. Not “woman traits”!
25. Not all of us like to be properly dressed, shower everyday and wax/thread our upper-lips timely!
You have a no-shave November! Why can’t we? And please, don’t say things like our “beauty” lies somewhere within those parameters! We can be tardy and hairy. It’s up to us.
26. Self-made women exist! Independent women exist!
We don’t want you to buy us a fancy house , expensive gifts and pay our bills. We’d rather have you share these with us.
27. Some of us chose not to marry/ have kids. And it’s absolutely normal!
Terminal bachelors exist. Why can’t bachelorettes?
28. We’re not impossible to understand!
If you treat us like humans and not like “Oh! Women and their kind!” , you’d understand.
29. We’re equals and full of possibilities.
You can’t birth a child and I can’t bench-press a hundred kilos, or maybe I can, and maybe science will find a way for you to birth a child. Who knows?
30. Not all of us are feminists just because we talk about women empowerment.
31. And the ones who are, don’t really hate men.
Can we tweak the whole idea of feminism a little? It’s more than just women empowerment and not blatant hatred for men.