Have you ever been in a situation where you felt suffocated in a relationship? Or even a friendship? Times when the other person was so toxic that the only way to escape this situation was to just leave? Leave without any confrontation, any goodbye?
But whenever you tried to talk your way out of it, it never could happen. What if I told you that you can just walk the fuck away and never look back?
I know it doesn’t sound ethical to walk out on someone without giving them any closure.
But the whole idea that we owe people something stresses us out so much that we end up forcing ourselves to stay in such suffocating relationships.
What if I told you that it’s absolutely okay to not want to do that? That it’s okay to walk out on someone who doesn’t bring you any happiness without giving them the time of the day? Because it is okay. Okay to do what brings you peace of mind.
Being involved with a toxic person romantically or platonically is a mind-bending task and no one should have to live that way. And confronting a toxic person brings out no good either and that is not brand news to anyone.
It’s a lie we tell ourselves because we have conditioned ourselves to live life like that and the idea of breaking that habit disturbs us. But what people don’t know is that being involved with someone who brings you misery is a habit no one should have.
So, the only option you’re left with is to walk out on them and that doesn’t sound very easy either, right? Who wants to go through the whole ‘I don’t want to be around you anymore’ conversations which never end nicely?
But there is a way -- a way that every 20-year-old-something should adopt; cutting people off without any explanation.
Now you might think that it’s a coward move but it is most definitely not.
Your choice to get away from someone who doesn’t make your life productive is not a coward move but a brave one.
When I tried getting away from this one friend who was an extremely bad influence on me, having a conversation with her didn’t help at all. Instead, it became so ugly that I became the bad guy and ended up being the person I despised.
So, the next time I got myself in such a fix, I decided to just let it go. I didn’t call them up and say, ‘Hey, I don’t think I want to be friends with you anymore’. Instead, I just stopped calling or answering the phone when they did.
Soon enough, they got the message and thankfully were also smart enough to know that I’m done. Toxic people aren’t oblivious to how they treat other people. They know. It’s just that they think they can which is something that needs to be made very clear to them.
You really don’t need to tell them why you wouldn’t want to hang out anymore. You don’t owe them any explanation as to why you have chosen to bring about this chance. This life is yours and only yours to live and nobody else should let you dictate that.
Moreover, having a discussion with them just leads to endless hours of a no-result argument which never ends your way.
And if you’re worried about providing ‘closure’, riddle me this -- why would you want to give peace to a mind which completely destroyed yours?
My college boyfriend fits this description perfectly. A controlling lying substance abuser who thought that the whole relationship should function exactly how he wants it to be, leaving me with no say in anything.
He decided when and what to expect, when we tell other people, when do we say ‘I love you’ to each other or if we even have a future together. But why? Was I not a part of the relationship too? Why didn’t I have any power over these decisions?
Because toxic people do this to you. The way they make you feel that they’re in charge and no matter what, it’s their way or the highway.
So, how exactly are you supposed to put some sense into someone like that?
You just have to accept the fact that some people aren’t meant to bring any sense of happiness in your life and the only way to be at peace is to get away from such people.
You are not bound to remain at someone’s side just because you have been a part of their life. If you want to hit the exit door, no one can stop you from doing that because it’s your life, your decision.
Don't let anyone hold you prisoner.