Hey! I hope you’re doing not that well. I’m fine though. Actually, much better than just fine. Life has never been better. I guess time flies when the person you’re living with isn’t a human embodiment of cat turd.
It was pretty darn horrible living with you but now that we’re not living together anymore, I see the bright side of the darkest phases of my life (because of you i.e. duh! ). Living with you made me realise that one can have a worse roommate than Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Moving to a new city would have been easy for any teenager. When I moved to Delhi, I was really scared about starting an independent life. When I moved in to the flat with you, I believed that we’re going to live like two responsible adults. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Thank you for never doing your own chores because that taught me to be responsible about getting shit done around the house.
My parents were apprehensive about me doing household chores but then your not-so-great presence in my life put me in a spot where I had to do it all-by-myself. I didn’t have much of a choice here. I had never thought that I could be so self-sufficient but then your lack of personal hygiene, basic human decency and general assholery helped me become independent. Thank you so much for that.
Thank you for never returning the money you owed me because it helped me manage my finances.
You’d ask me for money all the time and I gladly let you borrow some from me. You never returned it to me and taught me how to survive on a shoe-string budget. Who would have though that your lack of common courtesy taught me so much about finances. What a weird world, no?
Thank you for being so lazy, inadept, crazy and dumb. You’ve made me a better person. I can now live independently without caring much about you. I hope you repaid the guys you borrowed money from because they’re still looking for you. And I do wish nothing but good things for your current roommates. They’ll definitely need it.
Thanks for all the horrible memories but a bucket-load of useful experience. I believe that your current roommates are as unhappy with you as I was. You’re doing a great job here teaching people important life-lessons. Keep up the good work and keep making world a better place.
Your (thankfully) ex-roommate