Like most people, I too envisioned the ripped physique I’d get by the time it’ll be summer. Like most of us, I happily enrolled myself in a fancy gym. And like everybody else, I too promised myself “ki 1st January se regular exercising shuru!” 

It’s the fifth day of the year and BTW, it’s also the fifth consecutive day I HAVE NOT exercised! 

Every night, I religiously set the alarm for 7 AM in the morning. I also set one for 7:05 AM, 7:10 AM, 7:15, 7:20 and the magical number reaches till about 8:30 AM. Not kidding! 

However, being the Kumbhkaran ka 2017 version that I am, I end up snoozing my way to 8:30 AM, only to realise that now there’s no time to exercise because the boss is waiting at work!

This has been happening every single day. It happened to me in 2016. And looks like, it is going to happen in 2017 as well! 

How do these fitness fanatics do it? 

I’ve tried a lot of things.

I’ve convinced family members to manically bang the door to wake me up. I’ve asked friends to call me. I’ve even asked people to come and give me a whack if that’s what it takes. 

Obviously, nothing has worked. 

My friends, instead of trying to wake me up, end up snoozing their way to dreamland. As for parents, they are way too much in love with me to not let me sleep. Indian mothers are a whole new level of dramatic, you see!

Believe it or not, I’ve even started at 10 in the night. 

Going by the calculations, sleeping at 10 PM the previous night should be give me enough sleep to wake up on time without any trouble, right? 

Wrong!

No one told me that the body can never have enough of sleep and the more you sleep, the more you need to sleep. WTF!

I just don’t know what to do!

Is there any trick or totka that I can use? Is there something I’m not doing? Or, something that I’m doing wrong?

How do all these people at work Netflix & Chill at night, get up and exercise and report to work fit and fabulous? How do they do it? 

Don’t they care about sleeping? 

What kind of human beings are they? Purush ya mahapurush?

This new year, my new body doesn’t seem to be happening!

No matter how motivated I feel the previous night, subah hote hi, it all goes down the drain.

But I haven’t given up, yet. 

I shall be setting the alarm(s) all over again, tonight. I’ve already asked my best friend to call me like a crazy person, in the morning. And my maid has been instructed to keep a hot cup of black coffee ready! 

All that’s left now is waking up on time. Aaj nahi to kal, yeh bhi ho jayega!