We’ve all made peace with the fact that our parents are always going to be more conservative than us. While times are changing, most parents still expect their children to be straight, conventionally good-looking, grand kids-producing individuals. Comedian Dhruv Deshpande, however, warns us saying that our quiet submission is not a sign of respect. By not calling them out on it, he says, we “(Are) disrespecting them by letting them become socially irrelevant.”
You can read his viral Facebook post about the same here:
My mom once asked me, “Dhruv, you aren’t dating any girl… you aren’t gay right? (smiling) Right? (stops smiling) Right?”
This happened a couple of years ago. What followed was a one-hour argument, starting with “What if I was?”
After breaking through various barriers,
“But it’s not natural”
“Okay, but it can be cured”
“Okay, but I hope you aren’t”
“Okay, but what about grandchildren”
“Okay”
We finally got to: “Are you? It’s okay. You can tell me.”
(And also “Dhruv, you can’t find a girl because you’re fat”. I ignored that. One social issue at a time!)
Which brings me to my point: As a youngster, the biggest service you can do to society is telling YOUR parents they’re wrong. And man our parents are wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
My parents have taught me a lot. They’ve encouraged and inspired me endlessly, and surely are the coolest parents I know, but the most important thing they’ve taught me is to question authority, even theirs.
I have many close friends who regularly share liberal anti-racist, anti-sexist posts online, but have accepted that they won’t, for example, “get married outside their community”. You aren’t helping. You are the disease you so righteously claim to be trying to cure.
While preaching peace to our generation, we ignore our parents generation, where, even in the most open minded homes, phrases like, “look at her clothes” “these <insert group/religion/caste here> are all the same”, are uttered in not-so-hushed tones.
Today, the biggest propagators of the notion of rape culture, caste system, racism, islamophobia, homophobia etc are your parents generation, however latent it may be. Do not ignore it because you think you’re respecting your parents. You aren’t. You are disrespecting them by letting them become socially irrelevant.
If you trace it, squash it. Let it be an argument, a fight, a stand off, but don’t give up on your parents by silently letting them be carriers of social evils.
So, stop preaching online. Look behind your computer screens at the wrinkled little lovable bigot you’re living with. If you love them, tell them they’re wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
Let’s make the world a better place, one parent at a time.
Via Dhruv Deshpande
