As the famous saying goes, “The greatest gift is to love and be loved in return.”
Love. Four letters. Millions of emotions. A lifetime of happiness.
Love indeed makes the world go round. You can be anywhere, doing anything but if you’re not in love, it’s never enough. The biggest joys of life feel inadequate. A life bereft of love isn’t a life worth living.
But is love always meant to be from the outside? From another person, another soul?
Ever since we’re kids, there’s a great amount of importance placed on being loved. Which is why all our focus has always been about getting someone to love us.
Movies show us picture-perfect love stories. Books take us into magical worlds where fate and serendipity eventually unite two soulmates. Songs are written about love, loss and longing. Our minds are tuned into believing that in the end, it all boils down to just one thing.
Two people, holding hands, walking into the sunset.
True to form, we spend our lives looking for a hand to hold. Consciously or unconsciously. Subconsciously. Every waking breath.
The problem is not that we’re looking for someone else. The problem is that some of us are not finding ourselves first.
We believe there’s another soul out there to complete us. Like two parts that fit like a glove. The other half.
What if that other part was nothing but a part of ourselves? A part unexplored? Undesired, even?
The amount of time we spend searching for a certain someone, if only we’d use that time doing things that make us happy instead.
Explore our own company. Play with it. Romanticize it. There’s so much we can do, all by ourselves provided we allow us that liberty.
It isn’t like we need someone else to make us feel loved. We may want it but we don’t need it. Needs and wants are different. You can do without the latter.
As Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention.”
How often do we think of giving our own self the love and attention we’re so keen on giving others?
The biggest mistake people make is to believe that if they’re not loved by someone other than themselves, they’re not loved enough.
It’s okay to not have that perfect relationship. It’s fine if you’re without a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. You’ll get there when you’re meant to.
And even if you don’t, you can be good, all by yourself. You just have to embrace who you are and give yourself all the love you need.
You don’t need anyone else to feel loved. All you need is you.
As Carrie Bradshaw famously urged, “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.”