A lot has been said about all the things women wish they had known before they had sex for the first time. According to society, a woman has more at stake when she has sex because of the importance we place on a woman’s virginity. But why do we never talk about men? Why do we assume that men don’t really have emotions about sex, and are just in it for the physical act?

We asked men about all the things they wish they knew before they had sex for the first time, and at the cost of sounding clickbaity, some of the answers and their sensitivity really will surprise you.

“And men really don’t talk to each other about it, so I had no clue where to go for information.”

“14-year-old me had a terribly vagina-centric approach to physical intimacy.” 

“That was the most awkward part of my experience. I didn’t know that you’re supposed to have a full on conversation. I wished the girl a happy Pakistani Independence Day since it was August 14, and I wanted to say something to end the awkwardness. She kicked me off her and said, “You’re a dumbass,” and we were fine from there on. I’m much better at pillow talk now, just so you know.”

“We blow it up in our heads to be this huge big thing, but in reality it’s just like any other thing that makes us feel good.”

“Don’t just ram it in, take time, let her guide you into what’s pleasurable (or painless) for her.”

“Too much literature and soft porn emphasise a little too much on the whole idea of cumming. Nobody ever tells you to pace it. Nobody ever tells you that you’re going to be bad at it the first time.”

“Make sure you have hair ties around if you don’t want to eat hair when you kiss. This goes for you too, if you keep your hair long.”

Artwork by Gauri Saxena.