In the 24 years of my existence, I spent a good deal waiting for you. Every guy I beheld from afar as a crush to every guy I probably ever dated, I looked for you. I really hoped I would find you, somewhere. Anywhere. Every romance novel I ever picked up had told and retold about your existence. But then hope was replaced with common sense.

And I decided not to give a damn!

I don’t know if you are really there or not, or if I would ever find you. But you know what, I’m just fine. I have gone through life all this while without you and I have turned out just fine. Sometimes, I think, that had you been there I would not have met all the amazing people I know today. I probably would have been too engrossed about you to have focused my attention anywhere else. And that’s troublesome.

I am beginning to understand how my idea of you is just that- an idea. 

I do not want to be the person governed by text book definitions, and that’s all you are. You’re just another one of those things that have rated as good throughout the years. But then the grass always seems greener on the other side and all the proof that I have of your existence are all works of fiction. Let’s be smart and not base our judgement of you on those.

You might be the perfect person, but then even perfect means different things to different people. Would you have been able to handle the goals and ambitions that I have set for myself? Would I have had all the amazing, and more importantly real people in my life had you been there? Because as my life is now, I wouldn’t change a thing. Things are beautiful, and you’re not a risk I want to take

I don’t get why people lose their shit when I tell them you’re unreal. 

But I do have a theory that it’s to do with being lazy. It’s such a convenient option, to be with someone who’s cut from the same cloth as you. Then again, come to think of it, if you are a strong, independent woman who does not need to be fed, clothed and sustained, what’s the job that Prince Charming will take care of? 

I am glad I have stopped looking.

Because well, I got busy figuring things out for myself. Looking for you, or waiting for you is not a viable policy. There are so many things out there, just waiting to be done, places waiting to be explored. I want to be there, doing all that. Not whiling away time, waiting for you to whisk me off.

And someday maybe, just maybe, I will find my kind of perfect. We will have our fights and find our middle ground. 

Sincerely,

The Independent, Free Spirited, Modern Woman