A year ago, comedian Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual misconduct by a woman he went on a date with. More than a year later, he recently performed a series of Netflix special standup shows in India where he spoke about various aspects of his life, including the allegation.
A video of which has been doing the rounds on the internet:
On his new Netflix special #RightNow, Aziz Ansari opens the show by addressing the allegations that were first published by https://t.co/AWTQUHcyJ4 a few years back. Here's the clip in its entirety pic.twitter.com/HHkDAxbske— James Shotwell (@jamesdshotwell) July 9, 2019
In what seemed like an attempt to absolve himself of guilt, Ansari said
There were times when I felt scared, times I felt humiliated, times I felt embarrassed. Ultimately, I just felt terrible that this person felt this way.
He even goes on to take credit for other men rethinking how they behaved on a date.
While Ansari feels this was enough to erase the memory of his actions, the internet felt otherwise about his apologetic non-apology.
There was ZERO semblance of any apology in that.— Nihal Peter Moraes (@nihalmoraes) July 11, 2019
Apparently he felt scared, embarassed, humiliated, and overall, terrible.
And apparently guys think over their past dates now coz of him.
Textbook male privilege anyone?
Aziz Ansari felt scared, embarassed, and humiliated, and as a whole, felt terrible. He never felt apologetic.— Maybe next time, you'll estimate me (@iamdatemike) July 10, 2019
He also takes credit for men rethinking their dates.
This, and the hundreds applauding him as he jokes about sexual misconduct is textbook male privilege. https://t.co/Eh8DTDFRrT
Right! He should've apologized to everyone that bought tickets to his show, refunded them and asked them to go home because he isnt funny and doesn’t deserve an audience!— Rishi (@rishisb) July 11, 2019
Hey, @azizansari, maybe you should have:— Arjun Sethi (@arjunsethi81) July 9, 2019
-said you're sorry
-not joked about consent & assault
-expressed solidarity with survivors everywhere
-been genuine not performative
-not made this an addendum to a Netflix comedy special
-donated some of your proceeds to Time's Up https://t.co/pBaeElRMBj
The volume is SO LOW on this video and with no closed captions I can't understand over 50% of what is being said. Especially after he lowers his voice even more to talk about "that whole thing."— Kat (@meisterkate) July 9, 2019
I agree! I really wanted to watch the @azizansari @netflix special and I wanted to like it. But his backhanded apology felt pretty narcissistic to me and it made me cringe big time. I couldn't bring myself to watch the rest of the special.— Katie Loughmiller (@SpackleFaceK) July 10, 2019
1. Own your wrongdoing— Snark Twain (@maqusan) July 10, 2019
2. Be specific
3. Allow your victim to respond without justification, interruption, or expectation of forgiveness
4. Make it right as best you can.
Without *all* of that it's not a full apology, it's self-forgiveness.
At least the internet is up to speed with the 2019 memo.