Do whatever you want to but in this country, you simply cannot kiss the obscenity debate goodbye and every time the self-proclaimed guardians of public morality come up with some new rule, they definitely kiss a long goodbye to logic – it is pure madness and there sure is method in it, sans any amount of logic. 

Management of Lumbini Gardens in Bengaluru have come up with a set of rules for their “special” visitors (only) – the YOUNG and UNMARRIED couples. 

Take a look at it here:

“This is a family and children’s park and dedicated to the society for better values”

Just letting the young, unmarried ones know that better values have something to do with owning a family or being a child?

*books a marriage hall immediately*

“Kissing in the park and misbehaving is an offence”

People get married for a lot and a lot of reasons – getting a license to kiss in the park can now be one of them. 

Even if the law is not clear on what constitutes “obscenity”, in a recent Delhi High Court judgement, dismissing obscenity charges against a young, married couple caught kissing in public, Justice S. Muralidhar observed in his interim order, “It is inconceivable how the expression of love by a young married couple would attract the offence of obscenity and trigger the coercive process of law.”

Even before the couples are produced before the court, in many cases, moral policing is so strong that the people (crowd) take matters in their own hands and speak for a country that was once destined to be free. 

When it comes to moral policing, it’s as if there is a law-maker in every person in India and no one shies away from imposing their judgment, however narrow, on others. 

And really, how do you tell a married couple from an unmarried couple when they are kissing in the park? Or, is it when unmarried people do the same act that all values kids must learn somehow magically change?

Oh before you plan to go all sanskaari on this thought, let us tell you and there’s evidence of it, “India’s ancient past is littered with kisses, if literary work is any evidence.”

Behaviour is very important that it does not offend the sensibilities of other guests and children in the park. 

No, what?! What behaviour is important to married people that is not important to unmarried people? And why on earth are only unmarried and young people capable of offending the rest of the world? *superpower alert*

Kissing and hugging publicly is prohibited. 

Take a piss or take a dump for all your care, people will teach themselves not to bother what you are doing. It’s so comfortable walking around in a park where people are taking a leak after all. 

If you greet someone with a hug and on top of it, if you’re unmarried, you are a threat.

CCTVs are monitoring all over the park on police orders for security reasons.

Cool, but why are these guidelines for unmarried and young couples alone?

In a country where live-in relationships are legal, why are you still after the unmarried ones kissing in public?

Well, set them marriage goals all you “young and unmarried ones” already!