Rating: **1/2

Cast: Ranveer Singh, Priyanka Chopra, Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah, Anushka Sharma, Farhan Akhtar, Rahul Bose, Zarina Wahab, Aamir Khan (voice over)

Director: Zoya Akhtar

Let me just say it. Dil Dhadakne Do will not make your heart beat. It might make your brain wander though. Thoughts like *I need to pee* *Why did I forget that slice of pizza in the fridge* *Ranveer has really white teeth* *Why, that chick is like a mini-Katrina, congrats Bollywood* sure crossed my mind. But the one thought that would undoubtedly visit you is, “Why is this so long? Is there no intermission?”

Zoya Akhtar’s Mother of Multi-starrers (still not as cool as Mother of Dragons) suffers from a typical multi-starrer disease called what-do-I-do-with-my-actors-itis. There’s the patriarch Anil Kapoor, who despite his salt and pepper hair, does not get sexy with age. There’s the borderline-mysoginistic husband (Rahul Bose), who is overtly villainised to the point of being a caricature. There’s a dog (trust me this is important) who narrates, and while I appreciate the narrative effort, it’s simply not cute. And there’s Ranveer, who has the best dialogues and brilliant moments, but gets lost in a sea of actors swimming in the deep end of mediocrity.

The music doesn’t work for the film, except Anushka’s 1920’s swing number, and that too because nothing interesting happens in the film before her entry.

But to be fair, Dil Dhadakne Do is watchable for our times, as watchable as any Karan Johar film in the early 2000s. The annoying thing about the film is that it has its moments of acting, script, dialogues, and just when you get hopeful for the film again, it collapses, in the same way your Lego towers did when your baby cousin sat on them.

Once you’re done with the long first half, the film picks up pace and you begin to see the point to the film – Eureka! It’s about dysfunctional families! The relationship between Kabir Mehra (Ranveer Singh) and Ayesha Mehra (Priyanka Chopra) is a cute brother-sister bond that has its redeeming points.

The film also tries to add depth to its characters, as is the case with Mehra mom (Shefali Shah) but then, throws her back into superficiality, and I’m afraid, not intentionally.

The second half also has a particular hospital bed scene with the Mehras which almost made me clap for the film in appreciation, only to end up groaning, thanks to an utterly stupid ending.

Watch Dil Dhadakne Do if you like multi-starrers, or are bored. It won’t kill you.