Ever since Sushant Singh Rajput died by suicide, fans and family all over the world are having a hard time accepting this truth.

Shweta Singh Kirti, the late actor's sister shared a few pictures of Sushant Singh as a kid on Instagram. The brother-sister duo were very close as they didn't have much age gap. 

Shweta posted a picture of Sushant as a child along with her wedding day photo where she is seen posing with him. 

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Part 1: I am experiencing bouts of pain. Right when I think I am coping with it better, some or the other incidence rushes right back into my memory and breaks me apart. One such memory I am sharing with you all... because it is said that the more you share your grief, the less it hurts. I have always been told by my family members that Mom and Dad wanted a son, more so because Mumma’s first child was a son and she had lost him at the tender age of one and half. I never got to meet my first sibling. But mom and dad were very hopeful for a second son.... they made a sankalp (mannat) and started praying to Maa Bhagwati for straight 2 years. They fasted, they meditated, they did puja, hawan and went to spiritual places and met spiritual people. But then I was born, on a Diwali day.... Mumma considered me very lucky and often called me Lakshmi Ji. They continued with their Sadhna, and a year later my little brother was born. Right from the beginning he was a charmer, he mesmerized everyone with his beautiful smile and twinkling eyes. So, this little one was my “Pithiya”. This is a term used in colloquial Hindi to signify the one who comes right after you. Mumma believed that I was the cause of his much-desired arrival into our lives and I accepted the honor whole heartedly. I was very protective about my little brother because I felt I was responsible for bringing him to this earthly plane. We were always time together, We played, danced, studied, did all sorts of mischiefs, ate, slept, did everything together so much so that people forgot we were 2 separate individuals, they even called us “Gudia-Gulshan” as if we were a single entity (Bhai’s nick was Gulshan and mine Gudia) And when we started going to school, we had to go to different classes. Bhai’s Nursery and my prep classes were in same building so we managed our 1st year of school pretty well. But then my UKG class was in a different building and his prep classroom remained in the same building, so we got separated. One day after lunch break was over I saw Bhai in my classroom, in my building. We were just 4/5 year olds then. #BhaikikahaniBehankizabani #Downthememorylane #LuvuBhai

A post shared by Shweta Singh kirti (@shwetasinghkirti) on

In her post, she shared how Sushant was her "Pithiya", a term used to define the one who comes right after the former. She penned down that the two were always together, playing, dancing, studying and she was very protective of her little brother. 

Shweta even shared a screenshot of a chat they had on June 10, fours days before the actor was found dead. In the chat, she had asked him to come to visit her. 

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Part 2: I was completely shocked and as well as happy to see him and asked him how he got there, because his building was at-least half a kilometer away. He told me that he was feeling alone and anxious and wanted to be with me. I pondered for while thinking how adventurous and courageous he was to escape his building with a watchman and then walking half a kilometer and entering my building right under a watchman’s nose and finally finding my class and me. I found his explanation of running away from his building pretty viable as I knew that feeling, When I was dropped off at the school for the first time, I kept crying and asking Dad not to leave me, “Please don’t leave me here alone” that feeling... initial anxiety to be separated from family members and be somewhere where you don’t know anybody. And as a 5 year old protective big sister, I assured him that he can be with me. First, I tried to hide him in between me and my friend, but somehow my class-teacher noticed him while taking attendance. I was myself a little scared, but to protect my little brother, I stood up and told her that he is not feeling well and asked if he could stay with us until dismissal. To my amazement, the teacher agreed and we were so happy, but little after 2 periods as the social norm will have it, he was sent back to his building but by that time we have had so much fun that all of his anxiety were gone. Fast forward in 2007, I remember the day when I got married and as I was leaving, Bhai hugged me tight and we cried a lot. Physically we won’t stay together anymore, we won’t get to see each other that often anymore as I was moving to USA. Both of us got too busy with our lives. Bhai got into Bollywood and kept making us all proud with his accomplishments but I remained protective about him. I would often ask him to come and visit me in the US so that we can relive our childhood once again away from all the noise. I only wish I could have protected him from everything....I still wish I will wake up to see my Bhai... just right next to me and will realize this whole episode was just a nightmare and nothing more. #BhaikikahaniBehankizabani #Downthememorylane #LuvuBhai

A post shared by Shweta Singh kirti (@shwetasinghkirti) on

In her posts, Shweta shared snippets of her childhood of how close they were. 

Once when Shewta and Sushant were in UKG and prep class respectively, Sushant escaped from his building which was half a kilometre from his sister's building and even the guard just to go meet her. 

His sister was shocked to see him there but felt protective of him as his elder sister. Sushant told her that he was feeling alone, anxious and wanted to be with her. 

Cut to 2007, Sushant hugged Shweta tightly and the duo cried a lot on her wedding day because the two won't stay together anymore. She shifted to the US and Sushant, later on, got into Bollywood. 

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अपना ग़म ले के कहीं और न जाया जाये घर में बिखरी हुई चीज़ों को सजाया जाये जिन चिराग़ों को हवाओं का कोई ख़ौफ नहीं उन चिरागों को हवाओं से बचाया जाये ———————- बाग़ में जाने के आदाब हुआ करते हैं किसी तितली को न फूलों से उड़ाया जाये घर से मस्जिद है बहुत दूर चलो यूं कर लें किसी रोते हुए बच्चे को हंसाया जाये ~ निदा फ़ाज़ली Good morning 🙏❤️✊🦋🌪 ☀️

A post shared by Sushant Singh Rajput (@sushantsinghrajput) on

At the end of her post, she shared a heartfelt message where she wished to protect her bhai from everything and still wishes to wake up to see him. 

It's been over a month since Sushant left us and nothing feels the same without him. 

Disclaimer: If you, or someone you love, are suffering from depression, suicidal thoughts, or just need someone to talk to remember that help is just a phone call away. Reach out to the following helplines in India. BMC mental health helpline: 022-24131212 (available 24X7), Vandrevala Foundation: 186-02662345/180-02333330 (24x7) or AASRA: 91-9820466726 (available 24X7).