Recently, Congress Vice-President Rahul Gandhi shared in a speech in Chennai that he is reading Gita and Upanishads to take on RSS and BJP.
“I ask them (RSS men), my friend, you are doing this, you are oppressing people, but it is written in the Upanishad that all people are the same and how come you are contradicting what your own religion says,” party sources quoted him as having told them, as per a PTI copy.
A Twitter user @gbkansara imagined the events that unfolded after Rahul Gandhi started his journey of reading the holy books. What followed is a very witty, hilarious Twitter thread you just can’t miss.
Here we go!
Rahul introspected, this time truly, on what he can do to seriously take on BJP/RSS. His jibes had fallen flat, or worse, ricocheted. 1/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
So, Rahul had this brilliant idea one morning when he woke up at night, that he would read Gita and Upanishads. Now, who would teach him? 2/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG first met his closest advisor, Digvijay.RG: Digvijay-ji, tell me about Gita.DS (without hesitation): sau taka tunch maal, Rahul-ji! 3/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG (shaking his head): Bhagavat Gita!DS (at a loss): Why don’t we release a book “Gita ki Saazish”? I will invite Mahesh and Zakir too. 4/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG then reached out to Tharoor.
ST: The figmental yet philosophical prestidigitation that the deity with pavonine plume on his diadem… 5/— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG wanted a simpler teacher. So that left Manish T out. RG talked to Aiyar.
MSA: I told you, Rahulji, inhe hataaiye humein le aaiye…6/— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
MSA: Rahul-ji, instead of teaching you what the terrible troglodytes talked about, why don’t we meet the descendants of Duryodhana? 7/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG shook his head & looked beyond his party. He thought of his new friend, Stalin.
S: Gita is an Aryan conspiracy to impose Inthi on… 8/— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG fled before Stalin could explain how “Stalin” is a lovely Dravidian name. Just like his father’s.He went to meet comrade Yechury. 9/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
Yechury was with a Youth Congress leader. On seeing RG, the 64-year old was excited and fell on RG’s feet. Yechury did a Lal Salaam. 10/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
A dead animal was lying on the ground, hacked and bloody. An NDTV journo was calling it an “ox”, for some reason. RG was not bothered. 11/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG (to SY): Yechury-ji, do you know about Gita?SY (tapping on his iPhone): Comrade, Gita says that eating beef is a fundamental right. 12/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG thought of his family, and so he turned to Robbert Vadra.
RV: Kurukshetra? Duryodhana was a genius man, took the whole land away. 13/— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG was worried. No one was helping him learn Gita to take over BJP. He then decided that he should talk to someone who is RW and yet…14/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
After a few weeks he was ready, a new Rahul. The dimples were deeper, the smile was sweeter, and the kurta was whiter with more holes. 15/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
RG went on stage and thundered.
“Do you know what the Gita says? Sangostavakarmani. Do you know what it means? The Sangh makes money.” 16/— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
“You know there is a whole Upanishad called Isa which is about living cordially with Christians? RSS doesn’t want you to know this.” 17/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
“Even Buddha said, sangham saranam gachhami. You know what it means? Pray that the Sangh goes away. RSS doesn’t want you to know this.” 18/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
Modi & Shah were utterly awed as Rahul threw such gems at the unsuspecting public. They knew he was their asset, but this was just… 19/
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
After finding out that even this bookish ploy of defeating BJP/RSS didn’t work, Rahul Gandhi never ever worked with Rahul Easwar again. /END
— Bhāvesh Kansārā (@gbkansara) June 5, 2017
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