I am not a believer of astrology, unless the predictions are in my favour. 

If it says I will get a promotion, find a partner, travel: I want to believe that kinda thing. 

But my faith has been shattered now. 2020 was supposed to be my year; that’s what the astrologers said. From what angle is it my year, though? Please tell me?

Here’s a part of prediction for my sunsign Gemini, for 2020:

You see the timing of this? 

March 23! Two days later the country went into a lockdown and my stress levels peaked like anything. 

But what does this say? Peace of mind and satisfaction. I mean, buddy, itna jhooth?

Moving on, another website said this about my future.

This is a bit realistic in that my patience is being tested every waking moment of the day, but travel? Huh? 

Rahu into Taurus will create circumstances for you to travel abroad Well, Rahu clearly did not try enough because I can’t go to my bagal waala park, let alone another country. 

And that too for a good amount of time, so ye kahan se aaya

Anyway, something about the money stuff. Let’s see what the astrologers thought was in store for me.

Where do I even begin with the kind of vibes I have been getting from my financial conditions in this first half!

Pay cut had to happen and it was coupled with the ‘stocking time’ so I have really no savings right now. And f*ck you for giving me hope.

Numerology also had to say some things about how my year was going to be. To quote a website:

When you have seven as your personal year number for 2020, it is time to relax and take some time for yourself. Number seven is a number for reflection and self-growth. It’s time for some you time. Take advantage of this year and all of the things that come with it. 

You’d best believe I am getting time to myself but ‘relaxation’ toh ek mazaak hai at this point. 

We are stuck in such a loop of kaam-bartan-kaam-bartan-kaam, that ‘taking a break’ has become a joke. So dekh lo aap.

Not one. NOT. EVEN. ONE astrologer predicted this.

Or hinted that a world-halting event will change everything as we know it. 

They were all like pyaar milega paisa milega, but look at me now, sitting in the shirt I have been wearing for a week and eating Wai-Wai for lunch. 

Sab fraud hai.